Finding Strength in the Small Things

Four

2011-12-03T21:09:00.002-05:00

Hold him a little longer,
Rock him once more.
Read another story,
(you've only read four).
Let him sleep on your shoulder,
Rejoice in his happy smile.
He's only four years old
for a little while.

Happy Fourth Birthday, Ian.
Mommy loves you.

A Chance...

2011-03-25T21:44:00.003-04:00

A chance to win...
>something from one of the most talented designers of jewelry that I have seen in a long time.
>something that could hang in my home and add something special
>something that has a handmade beauty to it
>something that I will cherish
>something from Lisa Lenord Designs...

check it out. Click Here.

Bye 2010!

2010-12-31T21:04:00.003-05:00

It's 9:05pm on December 31st...and I am thinking of the past year and all the ups and downs the year brought to us.
So many memories both happy and sad ones. It's hard to even call any specifically to mind right now.
Some think New Years Eve is depressing. Some think it is a renewal. And even others, think of it as the end.

Gordon and I for years, had a blow out bash at our home on New Years Eve. Until Charlotte was born, then New Years became about pjs, snacks, and staying in. I'm not sure which I truly like better. I love being in my pjs. I have them on right now, but a part of me misses the party. The fun, the laughter.

Either way, New Years Eve is a fun holiday for me. I think of it as the time to renew. Start fresh.

This year I am hoping to get a good night's rest and make it through the night, since I have not been feeling well. So now at 9:12pm, I am saying Goodnight, and Goodbye to 2010. Here's to wishing that 2011 will be a great new year!

Merry Christmas, Darling

2010-12-23T14:01:00.005-05:00

Well, it's that time of year again. I am feeling alittle under the weather today, so I came home from work early, and am trying to deny getting sick two days before Christmas. On my way home, the radio was on. And on 100.5, which is playing all Christmas music and has been since Thanksgiving.
Well, I was about a block or so away from home, when the air wave went quiet! "dead air" The song had finished and then "dead air" for what seemed like a long time, but was probably 10 seconds or so...then it happened. Merry Christmas, Darling by The Carpenters came on the radio.
I know I haven't told everyone about this song, but it is a powerful one for me. And here's why...

Last year, a few weeks before Genevieve was born, my best friend, Linda, called me. She said she didn't want to upset me, while I was so pregnant, but she had to call. She proceeded to tell me that she had a dream about my Dad the night before. She said that she was driving in the car with him and he kept saying he had to get to the carpenters in New Britain. I know that sounds like it doesn't make sense, but it may if you keep reading and have some faith.
She continued by saying that she meant to call me earlier, but didn't until she heard this song Merry Christmas, Darling about four times since she woke up.
Linda is great with dreams. She remembers them so well and helps me believe that this is how people who have passed on, come back to visit.
She felt that my Dad wanted her to send me this song. How did we come up with that you ask...well here's how.
In the dream, he wanted to get to the carpenters in New Britain. I was going to give birth to my third child in New Britain. The song is sung by The Carpenters. And the lead vocalist is KAREN Carpenter.
I truly believe, and I know Linda does too, that this was my Dad's way of letting me know he wished he was here for Genevieve's birth, but in his own way he was. Or was at least thinking of me/us.

Now everytime, I hear the song I think of him. I feel him with me. I say "I love you, Dad". And feel some peace. Even on the way home today. I felt as though he was saying "hello".

This year, it is ten years since my Dad died. Some days it feels longer and some days it seems like only yesterday. It's hard. This year seems harder. But I will be ok.

I recently had another friend talk, I mean really talk, to me about my Dad. It was sad, but somehow I felt a level of comfort in talking about him and telling people about how wonderful he is, and how much he is missed. It's therapeutic I think.

So, Merry Christmas everyone. Enjoy those around you. Take comfort in those that are with you, life is too short.

When I asked Linda why my Dad was in her dreams and not mine...her response..."You have two, almost three kids, you need your rest...he can come to me and I can tell you." Love you Linda!
I believe it was you, Dad. Even today on my way home! Miss you. Merry Christmas!

Are you a believer too???

A Hero

2010-08-27T14:55:00.008-04:00

A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself. -Joseph Campbell

Over the past week I have been trying to make sense of something that I am not sure I will fully understand myself.

For those who have not heard, my cousin, Sargent Steven DeLuzio, was killed in Afganistan last weekend. Since hearing of his death, I have tried to think of him, find photos, read posts and comments, remember every last memory that I could. Plus I want to shout at everyone I see. I want them to know about Steve, what kind of man he was, how much he loved his family and this country. I want everyone to know him and never forget that he gave his life for them.

I've been trying to balance all the pride I feel with all the sadness that I feel. It is tough! Plus then if it tough for me, how impossible it must feel for his Mom and Dad, Diane and Mark; his brother and sister-in-law, Scott and Vicki; and of course his fiance, Leeza. I have wished more than once this week that there was a way for me to lessen the pain they all must be feeling.

Many people don't understand the war, and I am not sure I really do either, but when I think about Steve and Scott, who was serving over there too, and any and all the men and women over there I think, all I really need to do is support them. This is what our country has decided to do, or forced to do...whichever way you choose to look at it, supporting the troops has to be what we can do as Americans.

Our Governor has requested that all flags fly at half staff until Steve's funeral, which is a wonderful thing. My brother-in-law said that he wants to personally thank the families that have lowered their flags and I feel that same way too. But on the other hand, there is a flag at the end of a street close by that has not been lowered, and I want to march myself up to their doors too and ask them to lower it.

Steve was an outgoing, always smiling man, who made anyone and everyone that he talked to feel comfortable around him. He would take the time to ask you about yourself. He would take the time to let the little kids know they were important too. I remember when Charlotte was just over a year old, and we went to Christmas Eve at his Aunt Joanne and Uncle Phil's house. Steve and Scott both were there themselves. Charlotte was a very shy little girl. They both waved at her during dinner, and then when there was less people around, and she was comfortable to walk around herself. They both sat on the floor and played with her or tried to get her to come and play with them. So cute!

Oh Steve! If there was something I could say to you now, it would be this. We are all so unbelievably proud of you. You gave your life, no only for something that you believed strongly in, but for all of us. Choosing to do this with your life is so amazing. I will miss the razzing you gave me about the Red Sox. Almost every time I posted a status on Facebook related to the Red Sox, you would comment. And even at home, Red Sox razzing became the norm. An avid Yankee fan, through and through.
Even in Afganistan, you were so upbeat about everything. I can remember a couple of posts about "Dear Rain, Enough is Enough..." or "Afgan Dancing 101" or "The best part about being up at four am...". You could make us smile even from half way around the world. You are a true American Hero Steve. You will forever be remembered for the ultimate sacrafice that you made for me, our family, this country, and the freedoms that we all take for granted on a daily basis. You will be missed, but never forgotten. I miss you Steve. I will never forget all you did for us. Rest now. Love you.

And I'm proud to be an American,
where at least I know I'm free.
And I won't forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me. -Lee Greenwood

I Remember...

2010-08-13T15:07:00.008-04:00

I remember the ups and downs.

I remember the nurse calling and saying "you're pregnant"!

I remember telling Daddy you were coming!

I remember the last MD appointment. Dr. Mihalek said "Are you ready to have a baby?" Me "NO!" Him "Yes you are. Let's do it tomorrow".

I remember not sleeping that night.

I remember going in to the hospital with butterflies in my stomach.

I remember thinking this is what we've wanted for so long!

I remember shaking when I got my IV.

I remember getting my epidural. And then it not working on one side.

I remember having a mirror so I could see you coming.

I remember Daddy saying "It's a Girl!" And crying, crying, crying!

I remember holding you for the first time. My little baby girl. My gift from God.

I remember naming you "Charlotte" because we wanted you to have a special name. Named after a special guy. And your middle name "Anne", after a special lady.

I remember Grammie coming to the hospital after midnight to see you...she couldn't wait.

I remember Nana and Grandpa coming to see you, and Nana wore pink!

I remember so many aunts, uncles, friends, cousins, etc. etc. etc. came to see our little miracle. Lots of them wearing pink!

I remember bringing you home. Sitting in the backseat with you because we were so nervous.

I remember writing down every little thing you did, or we did for that first year.

I remember your first day at Lisa's. Oh how I cried!

I remember your fluffy head!

I remember when you started talking...could it be only at ten months old! Yes it was!

I remember your "open mouth kisses".

I remember your first birthday! On the Places You Will Go!

I remember you were the one who started saying "It's just gas"! :)

I remember you and your siblings are what truly matter.

I remember having you tell the world that you were going to be a big sister!

I remember you being do excited to come visit Ian and me in the hospital.

I remember how much you wanted to help.

I remember what a wonderful big sister you became to Ian.

I remember your giggles.

I remember how much you love books. You used to want to sleep with them. Beg me to take you to the library!

I remember your hugs.

I remember so many of the things that you said.

I remember your first day of dance. You were so scared. Now we can't stop you from dancing!!

I remember your first day of preschool. You were so excited. And I cried! Oh how I cried!

I remember your excitement when we told you we were having another baby.

I remember you insisted it was a girl. We tried to prepare you for the fact it might be a boy.

I remember you were right! You were the first person we called when Genevieve was born, and you said "I told you it was a girl"!

Oh Charlotte, I hope you will always know the joy you brought and continue to bring into our lives. You were our first miracle.

Now with kindergarten looming on the horizon, I just can't believe it is time for you to grow up that much more. Everyday I look at you and think you grew a little more overnight. You're not my baby anymore. You're not a toddler either. You are a little girl, who loves Barbies, playing hide and seek, stuffed animals, making friends, and who is a light in our lives!

I hope all your dreams come true. I hope you stay the happy girl you are today!

We love you Charlotte!
It's time for kindergarten! *deep breath*

Fears

2010-08-02T21:59:00.007-04:00

What is fear? Is it something that is in your subconscious? Is it mind over matter? How do you control or calm fears? I have been thinking about this so much in the past few days and weeks.

Why, you ask?

I have struggled my whole life with fears. Most are little things and some are somewhat bigger. I have resided to the fact that these are me, but I won't let them rule my life. I don't want them to be the things that are constantly on my mind. I need to let them go as much as I can. I'm trying. I hope I will.

But, in the past few weeks and such, my little boy has become almost crippled by fear. He has always been, from the moment he was born, and extremely strong startle reflex. He would literally shake when presented with a loud noise, or and unexpected sound. Now, picture the fourth of July. Fireworks and all. My poor little boy has not been the same since.Knowing how it feels to be afraid, and how it can over take your mind, I of course don't want that for my boy. I want to help him to not be afraid. I want to be sure he always feels safe. But how?

The OT in me wants to give him some sensory strategies that will help him to become almost desensitized to loud noises or even those noises that just may be unexpected. But the Mommy in me wants to hug him and tell him it's all ok. There's nothing to be afraid of. Then the woman in me, just wants to reason with him, explain what fireworks are, why they are not scary, etc. etc.

BUT HELLO....he's TWO!

So, I guess putting it out there makes it less of a fear of mine that he will continue to be crippled by this. I will help him through it. I will try to calm his fears. I will hold his hand and make some modifications for him when I can, so he feels more comfortable.

I love you, Ian. You are safe. I will always be there for you no matter what your fear. And in the mean time, I'll buy you some earmuffs????

Moments

2010-07-13T16:02:00.005-04:00

Do you ever look around at the moment you are in and just feel happy? Or at peace? Some people use the phrase Zen. I don't know about that, but there are those moments that if you really consciously stop to take a minute and think about what is happening around you, it is amazing.
Now, I don't want to sound too "out there", but I have been lucky enough in the last week or so to really be in these moments. I think when you are conscious about stopping to "smell the roses" as they say, you find yourself doing it more and more.

Last week, Gordon and I were at my in-laws summer place with the kids and we were doing I-don't-even-know-what, and I felt it. I was just so happy in that moment that it brought a tear to my eye. I know, I know...those of you that know me well are thinking...no big surprise, but it was quite powerful. I mean it.
Then it happened again...we went out for ice cream. All five of us. We were sitting outside the ice cream shoppe and I just smiled from the inside out. I can't explain it and I am not sure I'm doing that great of a job explaining it here either.
All I can say is try it. Take a moment in whatever you are doing and stop and think about all the wonderful things around you.
Mine has been my husband and my kids. They mean the world to me, and I think sometimes I get caught up in the day to day stuff or the routines of it all and don't stop to see the wonderful gifts.

Today I was driving home and all three of my kids were asleep in the back. I could see only two, but I knew that number three was asleep too. It made me think more and more about that feeling of happiness, peace, or whatever it is. I had it. In the midst of a traffic jam on the highway. Zen.

Balance

2010-06-26T14:36:00.006-04:00

I need to find balance. But how?
I have three children and a wonderful husband. A new home. A demanding job. Fabulous friends. Loving family. I hobby that I miss. Etc. Etc. Etc.

Where and how can I balance all of this so that I feel fulfilled?

I have an exciting opportunity to work in a clinic this summer, that appears to be VERY similar to the one I would love to own one day. I think it would be so much fun and I would learn a ton.
On the other hand, my children are only going to be 4, 2, and new for this summer and I don't want to miss out on anything.
Plus we have a new house, that I have been having a great time trying to make into our home. It's fun. And during the school year, I don't have time to make things like I want to.
There are friends in my life that I feel like I never see. I miss just hanging out with them, whether it is with their kids or not. I miss them.
My family and Gordon's family used to get together for family dinners every once in a while, and now for some reason we don't.
My kids want to do so much, join things, play here, visit there, and I am having trouble making it all happen for them.

UGH!

so much, and so little time! I need to prioritize, I guess and make some decisions. I know I can't do it all, but I find myself asking why...

Balance, where are you? Or do I just need to learn how to juggle?

Tears and Fears

2010-03-25T13:35:00.004-04:00

Why do we cry? Sadness. Stress. Emotion. Happiness. There are so many reasons. I sit here, bawling. I just vacuumed the whole house, and each room I was thinking of all the memories we have here.

As many of you know, we are selling this house at the end of May. I am filled with so much emotion about this big move that it has been hard to see clearly.

We bought this house ten days before our wedding. We have been through so much here. We did amazing things to this house to update it and make it seem more like ours. We put on a roof, new windows, redid the family room, put on a deck, and then made the nursery for our babies, and a big kid room as we added to our family.
Plus we went through our infertility trials here. Shots, medications, disappointments, and finally the greatest words "you're pregnant".
We came home here after my Dad's funeral. We came here after each baby was born. We had countless family gatherings here.
We, before kids, had New Year's Eve parties here. Man, they we fun!

So many memories!!!

Now, as Gordon says, it is time to start our new chapter. Move to our new home, start memories there. So much to look forward to in our new house. This house, on Bunce Rd, was a great home...
Now it is time to move to our new home, on Surrey Place, and open the book of our lives in a new chapter.

*Deep Breath*

It's Time!

2009-12-07T11:37:00.004-05:00

Yep, it's time.
It's the holiday time.
It's time for Baby #3 to make his/her appearance.

Tomorrow I will go into the hospital at 7am, and be induced into labor to welcome our third miracle into our family. I feel ready in some respects and so not ready in others.
How will we handle being out numbered? How will Charlotte and Ian continue to feel special? How will we divide our time? How will I handle having three little ones and working and managing our home? How will Gordon and I be able to find time for ourselves?

These are all questions that I have, but deep in my heart I know that it will all be fine. Gordon and I have a very strong marriage, I've said that before. We can handle anything together. He is my rock, and I think I am his as well.
Charlotte and Ian are the best of friends right now, so I know they will handle the new baby in stride.

All these questions are my own fears. The fears of again becoming a new Mom, to a new little person. I think it helps to just get them out.

I know I can do it! I know I have the strength within myself and the strength of my amazing family and friends to help.

It is just the anticipation and the maybe unfounded fears.

Welcome little one! We are ready for you! It's time!

Sometimes You Feel Like a Nut...

2009-09-29T20:14:00.008-04:00

Ok, so I am sure you've all heard by now about our scary night in New Hampshire over Labor Day Weekend. (and no it wasn't just because with were with Mike, although he is alittle scary. hehe!)
Charlotte had an allergic reaction to what, we had no idea at the time. Swollen lip, turned into coughing, wheezing, difficulty breathing, and hives everywhere. By the time we got her to the emergency room, she was having such a hard time breathing, it was so scary. But, my little girl was so brave. So strong. She did great. And the doctors and nurses at the Parkland Medical Center were the best. They really help to keep Charlotte calm, and me calm. I think keeping me calm is sometimes hard.
Anyway, long story short, we now know she is severely allergic to tree nuts. Yep, tree nuts. Not peanuts, but pretty much everything else. Now epipens, reading labels, and teaching a four year old to ask about nuts before eating anything is our life. I feel like a tree nut Nut!

Then at work, I am trying to do the job of two right now. We are short handed and I am attempting to pick up the pieces, see twice as many kids, and get back to every teacher that asks me. It is crazy. I am exhausted! I am hoping people at work understand, but I know that deep down, people don't care that I am short handed. Everyone has a job to do and everyone keeps track of their own. So, I am doing what I can and praying each day for the strength to get through. Even at work I am feeling nutty!!!!

Now finally, the H1N1 vaccine! Ugh! What to do? Pregnant women are at the top of the list to get this vaccine. Now it is scary. It has been rushed to market because of the flu scare. My OB/GYN tells me that if I get the swine flu, I could have some serious complications. But getting the vaccine, my baby and I definitely will get the vaccine, with all the added ingredients, that we don't know what the side effects on me or my baby will be. I am losing sleep over this debate. I feel like a nut!

It's been forever since I've posted. It's been forever since I've seen my best friends, and been able to talk to them. It's been forever since I've gotten a good night sleep. It's been forever since I have felt good about my job each day. Something has got to give. I need to crack these nuts. Now you all know why it has taken me forever to post...

Does anyone have a nut cracker?

The Push.

2009-08-28T10:23:00.000-04:00

"You never know when one act, or one word
of encouragement can change a life forever."
~ Zig Ziglar
I have been so weepy lately. Maybe it's pregnancy hormones, maybe it's lack of sleep, maybe it's the fact that work starts next week and I am completely stressed already. Or maybe it is because my little girl is going to preschool this Fall. She actually starts next Tuesday. She'll go half days for four days a week. We bought her backpack (Princess of course), we got her a lunch box to bring her snack in each day (again Princess of course), and some other supplies for school.
SCHOOL! I really can't believe how fast time goes. I remember the day I found out I was pregnant with her. Just like it was yesterday. Then the day she was born, was such an amazing day. She truly was a miracle to us. All our children are, but there was something about Charlotte.
These days I find myself watching t.v. and back to school commercials come on and I start crying. Man, I am a sap. How do you give her the push she needs to go, when all you want to do is hold on?
My little girl, is not so little anymore. She wants to go to school. And I know she is ready, but I think I might need some kind of support group or something.

I recently got this link in an email and it got me thinking about school, my kids growing up, and how it can be hard to see, but wonderful at the same time. If you have a few minutes click the link and see what I mean. It is worth it. Or atleast I think so.
Click here to see the link.

So September 1st, think of my little Big girl heading to preschool...and send some support my way, I think I might need it.

John Hughes

2009-08-18T13:24:00.000-04:00

John Hughes was born February 18, 1950. Died August 6th, 2009.
He is one of the most influential writers of teen angst from the 1980s and 90s. He wrote and directed some of my all time favorite movies of the 80s.
Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Some Kind of Wonderful,
Uncle Buck,

and Pretty In Pink; I'm sure there are more that I just can't remember at this moment. These movies I could watch over and over again and to this day they still can make me laugh right out loud. Plus they were movies that were about things teens are going through. Who wouldn't want the popular guy in school to like you, who doesn't want to just fit in, who doesn't want to take a whole day off and just have fun? All these movies did that.

He was only 59 years old, and had a heart attack. Life is so fragile.

Thank you John for all these movies that I grew up with and can quote even today.

Like "Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?" or "I'm thinking of trying out for a scholarship" or "Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. But we think you're crazy to make an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us... In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain... ...and an athlete...
...and a basket case...
...a princess...
...and a criminal...
Does that answer your question?... Sincerely yours, the Breakfast Club". From the Breakfast Club

Or "Lake, Big Lake!", "You know, I'm getting input here that I'm reading as relatively hostile", "Oto-mo-biiile?" All from Sixteen Candles.

There are so many...no need to go on. But if you haven't seen these movies. Rent them!

They are worth it!

I also recently found this post from John Hughes' pen pal. Not only did we lose a gret writer/director, but a great man.

Staying Cool

2009-08-08T13:23:00.000-04:00

How does a pregnant Mom of two stay cool on a humid 90 degree summer day?

Head to the beach? Doubtful.

Stay in the AC and turn on the t.v.? Maybe.

Fill up the kiddie pool and have fun with her kids? Definitely!
We sure did have fun! They wanted to splash Mommy and pour water on my "toe-ies". Who am I to stop them?

Wedding March?

2009-07-23T14:56:00.003-04:00

So, I get this email today from my cousin, Tracy, and the subject was "Fun Video--with music". So of course I open it. It was a Youtube video that she said "thought you'd get a kick out of this".

Man, did I! It is great! Worth the watch. Click here to see what I mean. It's so funny.
About a five minute video, so be sure you have the time.

Big Sister, Little Brother.

2009-07-20T13:37:00.004-04:00

About a little over a year or so ago, my sister-in-law wrote a post to Charlotte about being a big sister to a little brother. (if you get a chance to read it, it's worth it) And until recently I really didn't see the true interaction between them.
I decided to write this post after I heard this morning..."Ian, it's time to go in the car, we are going to the store" (which was of course the pretend car) Ian responded by saying "Ok, Char-It" and then she said "no call me Mommy". And he did. He said "Ok Mom".
Getting him to participate in her pretend sequences is just beginning. "Come on Ian" or "just sit here Ian" are regular phrases I hear these days.
Now don't get me wrong, there are definitely times that Ian refuses or says "no" (which happens to be his favorite word these days). But there are many times, where playing sleepover or house just happens under Charlotte's direction.
I love it.
It is so cute. I need to get Gordon to video tape some of these things.
It's going by so fast.
Charlotte is becoming more and more of a little girl and Ian is a little boy. Charlotte has all kinds of pretend play and Ian is talking in three word phrases.
When did this happen?
My little ones are growing so fast.
I wish it would slow down, while I love watching them grow.

another year.

2009-07-19T21:31:00.001-04:00

a rose.

P.S.

2009-07-10T08:06:00.002-04:00

After my scare this week, I think it is also important to have the strength to lean on those who are close to us. Not be afraid. It can be tough to admit we need help and the strength from others, but we do!

Words that made me Think!

2009-07-08T14:19:00.000-04:00

"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle." ~Attributed to both T.H. Thompson and John Watson

I got this quote in an email from my Mom, just the other day. And oddly enough I had a similar conversation on the Fourth of July about this topic. I took it as a sign.
It makes me think.
Everyone struggles.
Everyone has a demon or something inside of themselves that they try to deal with.
Some are outside battles, like in relationships with people or their decisions that maybe we don't agree with or relationships with other things, like food, etc.
Some are internal battles, like being too sensitive, or not sensitive enough, struggles with self worth, or struggles with perfection.
Anyway you cut it, we all have something.
We all are dealing with something. And although some may seem small to others, to us they are huge. Battles, struggles, demons can be so strong. The difference is that we can be stronger.

We can lean on those close to us. Those who know our true selves. Those who would never pass judgment. Family, friends, even impartial outsiders can play major roles in our lives and how we fight these battles.

We need to only find the strength within our selves to fight.
And remember that we are all struggling with something.

Storm!

2009-06-28T15:48:00.006-04:00

We sure had a storm! On Friday afternoon, Charlotte and I were in the garage putting out some recycling, when she spotted some dark black clouds in the distance. We talked about how it was probably raining at Grammie's house. We went inside and got Ian up. Literally five minutes later, I was running around the house closing windows.

I closed them most of the way, to still let some air in, but keep the rain out. Well, that was a mistake! I had to run around again. The rain was coming in like buckets, even through the small opening.

Then the wind! The hail! It was pretty crazy! We couldn't see out the windows. Sheets of water were coming from the sky, along with hail that was atleast marble size. It was so hard on the windows, I thought the windows would break.

Next the power went out! We got our flashlights and waited.

Finally after about fifteen minutes or so, it began to slow down. We could see out the windows.
Hail covered the garden.
A huge tree branch covered our shed, cracking the edge of the roof.
Another branch blocked the driveway.

But we were lucky.
Only blocks away...
The National Weather Service confirmed an EF 1 Tornado tore through Wethersfield on Friday afternoon. Crazy!

Luckily, my kids and Gordon and I are used to living without lights, through our camping trips and such. They each had their lanterns, we had flashlights and candles in the house.
Once everyone was fed and bathed and down for the night. Gordon and I sat in the dark and listened to the Red Sox play on the radio.

Not a bad night. A scary afternoon, but not a bad night.

Power came back on Saturday morning, although we had no t.v. so we didn't know the extent of this damage, until we took a "tour" of our town. It was indescribable. Trees uprooted, power lines down, homes destroyed. Clean up still continues today.

Definitely not something you see everyday. And hopefully we won't see again for a long time.

No Cash Wallet

2009-06-16T17:03:00.000-04:00

Recently I made these "No-Cash Wallets" for my Mom and Gordon's Mom for Mother's Day. I got the pattern from Amy Karol's Bend The Rules Sewing book. I think they are pretty cute.
I even put snaps on them to keep them closed.
There are two pockets, so in one of them I put a clear picture holder and filled each with pictures of kids and grandkids. So they became more of a brag book. I hope they liked them as much as I liked making them.
Now, what's the next project??

Dancing Queen

2009-06-12T16:58:00.000-04:00

Charlotte had her first dance recital a few weekends ago and when I tell you it was so "stinkin' cute", it really was.

Not only was it my first experience at a dance recital where they did all kinds of dances, but seeing your child up on this huge stage, having a great time really warms your heart.

She did two dances. A ballet number called Angels in Training where they sang and danced. It brought tears to my eyes. No shock there, right. And the second dance was a tap number called Lollipop. These are the costumes that they wore for both. The only difference was that they wore wings too for the tap number. This is a photo of Charlotte and her friend Reagan. It was all so cute.

I just can't get over how big she is getting. How proud I am of her and the little girl she is becoming. Even though she didn't do all the steps exactly right, and may have seemed a little stage fright. She did great! And now she can't wait to get back on "the big stage".

She is my little girl, who is getting so big, and I couldn't be more proud! My little Dancing Queen!

Surprises

2009-06-03T20:46:00.000-04:00

I always thought of myself as someone who liked surprises. Surprise parties, surprise visits, surprise gifts. Whether on the receiving end or the giving end of surprises they are always fun, don't you think?
Well, Gordon and I got the greatest of all surprises about three weeks ago.

We found out that we are having another baby! Yes, it's true! you read it right! Daigle party of FIVE!

As many of you know, we had a rough time having our first two blessings, with many procedures, shots, medications, tests, and doctor visits...and the doctors told us that having a baby on our own most likely was not possible for us. We resided to that fact, and moved on.
Well, I guess the "most likely" part of that is a grey area. This baby is coming without any shots, without any blood tests, without any major doctor visits. This baby is coming all on our own.
We are still in shock, although I am twelve weeks along. Shock because we have lived the last seven plus years thinking this was basically not possible.

We are so excited! Over the moon with happiness...I guess some things are just meant to be.

So SURPRISE everyone!
Another little blessing on his or her way in December.

Can you believe it???

Ten!

2009-05-26T17:55:00.001-04:00

Ten years ago I married the man of my dreams!
May 22, 1999, my life became so much more. I join my life with his, and it has been a wild ride ever since.
Gordon is such a special man. He makes me want to be a better wife, mother, friend, sister, daughter, and daughter-in-law. I don't know how he does it, but he seems to know what I need, sometimes even before I do. He can make me laugh so hard that I cry, and he can make my tears of sadness lessen a bit.
We have been through so much over these last ten years. Some of it happy times, and some of it trying or sad times. But through it all I think our marriage has only become stronger.

He is my best friend.

I can't believe how fast these ten years have gone.

I love you Gordon, thank you for making me the happiest I ever thought I could be.

Here's to many more years of special blessings, surprises, and adventures.

Big Sis.

2009-05-04T20:48:00.003-04:00

Yes, another bag. I made this one for my big sis! I was with her for a whole long day about a month or so ago and she commented on a leather bag I had. So I knew for her birthday I wanted to make her something that would resemble that bag. But...I couldn't find a pattern that I liked. So, what did I do? Well, I measured the leather bag I have, and added some cool fabric, and alittle longer handles, and here's the result:
I bought home decor fabric to make it alittle more sturdy.
The inside it is just a bog open bag. She can carry books, magazines, even a bottle of water in it.
I think it turned out pretty well, if I do say so myself. Working without a pattern, not easy, for sure. And as it turns out, she could even turn it inside out. It could be reversible. Pretty cool!

Happy Birthday, Char!!!

Jewels

2009-04-30T20:15:00.006-04:00

I've gotten jewelry in the past that I love. Like my engagement ring and wedding band of course, or some earrings that stand out in my mind, a Claddagh ring, and I'm sure there's more. Anyway I got this necklace for Christmas and I got a couple of compliments on it again today, that I just had to write a post about it. As you can see it is a simple chain with a couple of small squares hanging on it, along with a pearl. Those simple squares have my kids names. I just love this necklace. And it seems as if anyone who sees it, loves it too. The designer is Lisa Leonard. She has her own website. Which actually when I first got the necklace, about a week later, I broke the chain. I emailed the designer and she sent me a new chain with no extra charge. That just made me want to tell even more people about her. Check her out. Very cool things.

After the compliments I got today, and seem to get everyday that I wear this, I had to tell you all about this designer.
Thanks again Jenn!!
These two names really are my most prized jewels!

What were they thinking?

2009-04-28T21:40:00.001-04:00

So who has heard of this "fly over" that happened over NYC on Monday, sending people into the streets, fleeing from their office buildings, basically causing panic?

What were "they" thinking? Now, who is the infamous "they"? The government? From what I've read, President Obama was "furious". Who authorized it? I find it all alittle strange that it was a photo op featuring a presidential jet, and the president didn't know about it. The mayor of NYC didn't know about it. It's all alittle weird to me, no?

Offices evacuated!
911 inundated!
People running in panic!

Why wasn't the public, or the people of NYC informed of this ahead of time? Seems as if there was some unnecessary panic. Or at the very least panic that could have been lessened had people been told ahead of time.

"the possibility of public concern regarding DOD (Department of Defense) aircraft flying at low altitudes" in an around New York City. But they demanded total secrecy from the NYPD, the Secret Service, the FBI and even the mayor's office and threatened federal sanctions if the secret got out."
WHAT?

And why fly over the financial district? Flashbacks of 9/11 would certainly come to mind. Have we forgotten what that day was like? I am sure the people of NYC have not. I know I have not. And most Americans have not.

"To say that it should not be made public knowing that it might scare people it's just confounding," Sen. Charles Schumer said. "It's what gives Washington and government a bad name. It's sheer stupidity."

I guess I just don't get it.

Thoughts?

So we meet again...

2009-04-24T15:38:00.008-04:00

Tonight's the night.

Red Sox.

Yankees.

7:10pm.

Fenway Park.

Jon Lester.

Joba Chamberlain.

Should be a good game.

You gotta love a good rivalry.

(plus my boyfriend, Jon is not bad to look at).

Go Sox!!!

45 Lessons

2009-04-23T20:21:00.009-04:00

45 lessons life taught me
Written By Regina Brett, 50 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio .

Originally published in The Plain Dealer on Sunday,May 28, 2006

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolls over to 50 this week, so here goes:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. Love your parents because they will be gone before you know it.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry
13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare and then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this really matter?
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

I recently got this in an email.
Quite inspiring.

Click here to read recent columns by Regina Brett.

For my favorite 8 year old...

2009-04-20T21:00:00.006-04:00

I took the In Town Bag pattern, by Amy Butler, that I have been cranking out purses from, and made a "little girl" version. I just took about an inch and a half off each side and here it is...I really need a camera that does these bags some justice.

I also used the extra fabric and made her a headband to match. I think she liked it. It didn't hurt that I gave her a jean jacket too. :)

Happy 8th Birthday, Angeline!

It won't be like this.

2009-04-18T15:13:00.000-04:00

I heard a song recently that I guess has been out for a little while now, but to me it was new. It is called "It Won't Be Like This for Long" by Darius Rucker.
Yep, the former lead singer of Hootie and the Blowfish. I used to say to Gordon, "what happened to Hootie" (I've always been a fan), and he would reply "he doesn't have anything else to say". I guess that wasn't true.
Darius went out on his own and jumped onto the country scene. As many of you know I have gone a little country myself.

Anyway, I digress.

If you have a daughter or even a child, no matter how old he or she is...this is a tear jerker for sure. (or atleast for saps like me) Or even if you are a family member to small children...

The offical video is on YouTube. Grab some tissues and click here.

I guess everyone knows that time flies. And everyone wishes it went a little slower.

Healthy and Yummy!

2009-04-16T20:24:00.005-04:00

So, I have been really trying to watch my weight, eat healthier, and exercise more. For the most part I have been able to do it all. In my quest for new healthy recipes that will not only appeal to my wonderful hubby, but my two little ones, I came across a meal that is simply wonderful.

I was out at my good friend, Stacey's, house a few weeks ago and she made Lemon Horseradish Fish Cakes. I know, if doesn't necessarily sound good. But it was!!! I just loved them. I think I even told her that night that I couldn't wait to try them out on my family. So yummy! So easy! Two of my favorite things when it comes to a weeknight recipe: yummy and easy. Stacey made them with tilapia, but I made them with flounder. I think any white fish would do.
It was a hit. I just had to share. Try them, you won't be disappointed. Thanks Stacey!

My Friends and Family are the BEST!

2009-04-10T13:52:00.013-04:00

I think I always knew that, but now that I have asked for help with a cause I truly believe in, everyone, and I mean everyone, seemed to step to the plate. People came out of the woodwork to donate to my March of Dimes Walk. I was so close to reaching my goal for about a week, and then sent out another email to all of my family and friends to "gently" remind them that I wanted to reach a goal. I can't believe who and how many of you responded! I wish there was a way to list all the wonderful people who opened their hearts and wallets to donate.

From some of my best friends, to co-workers who are also friends, to principals at schools where I work (who I didn't even know knew about this walk of mine), to strangers just reading my other post. It is crazy how generous people can be.

It really warms my heart to know that I have people out there that not only believe in me, but also believe in a cause that has touched my life in so many ways.

How do I say thank you? I have no idea, but I am hoping that this reaches all of you. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!! You all mean so much to me!

Anyone who still wants to donate...the walk is April 26th, so there is still time, just click here.

Here are some small photos of those special little ones that I walk in honor of: Anthony, Christian, Margaret, Elizabeth, Jason, and Meghan!! Love you all!

For Mom...

2009-04-09T20:32:00.002-04:00

Yep, it was my Mom's birthday this week, so I made yet another bag. Here it is:This is not the best photo, but it is a pretty large bag, that she can use for a variety of different things. I found the pattern in Amy Karol's book Bend the Rules Sewing. I used some basic neutrals and then one of my fat quarters by Heather Bailey as the accent fabric. I also added the flowers for detail with some buttons. I really can't take too much credit for that, it was all in the pattern.
Now what's next? Maybe a better camera...

Deep Breath

2009-03-23T20:10:00.005-04:00

Do you ever have those times in your life where you need to take a deep breath?
I am at one of those times tonight.
I am feeling overwhelmed and nervous. I have a VERY important "job" tomorrow. I want to do it well, I want to be what I need to be, and I want to be true to how I feel too.
I guess putting it out there is helping me to take that deep breath.
To remember that things are out of my control, and I have to trust in prayer and that God will see us all through.

I know the power of prayer. I have seen it.

So, tonight I am asking for a little extra prayers not for me, but for my big bro.

A Day for Wearing Green

2009-03-17T20:34:00.002-04:00

May the road rise to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face.
And rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the hollow of His hand.

The Luck 'O the Irish to you all!

It's time!

2009-03-06T21:02:00.005-05:00

It's time for me to do something that I feel is important. Something I have a strong connection to. It's time for me to make it known that there are many people that we all know and love that struggle with the heartaches that come with premature birth. But it is also time to let the world know that there is a charity and agency that can help. That makes a big difference in the lives of the families and the little ones that are born premature. It's time to let the world know of the success stories of our preemies, that the March of Dimes is devoted to helping!
I have been indirectly effected by premature birth. Both my sisters had preemies, my cousin had a premature little girl, and most recently one of my best friends had a beautiful daughter at 25 weeks.
What can I do to help? I can walk! I can try to get the message of the March of Dimes out there! I can hopefully reach my personal goal through the generosity of my family, friends, and even strangers, who might be reading this post. It is an important cause.
Anthony, Christian, Jason, Meghan, Elizabeth, and Margaret are the reason I am asking for your help.

I have a link in the sidebar and I have a personal website where it is easy to make a donation.
Please search your heart and your pocket for any amount you can give.
Thank you!

36

2009-03-03T16:44:00.003-05:00

It seems like today is a good day to let the world know about my Mom.
How special she is.
How strong she is.
How she tries to be the peacemaker.
How she tries to be what everyone needs her to be.
How she thinks of others before herself.

She is one of the people that I can tell most anything to. She has helped me through some tough times. And although there was a time in my life that we weren't really friends, I can happily say that now we are. I am sure there are times that she disagrees with me, or would like to tell me what she REALLY thinks, but I also know she supports me in whatever I do. Now don't get me wrong, she does tell me what she thinks, and she doesn't always hold back. She is a Mom for cryin' out loud, isn't that what Moms do.

I guess, I just want the world to know what a great Mom she is and today is a great day to do that.

True Love.

2009-03-01T13:29:00.005-05:00

I know many have heard of the old adage that as a couple gets to their later years of life, if one passes away, the other is not long for this world. Well, this week I've begun to believe in that more and more. About six months ago, my family lost a very special lady and on Wednesday her husband followed.
My big brother-in-law's Dad, Ralph, passed away. He was an extraordinary man. As the priest at his funeral mass said, he lived a quiet, respectful, and very dignified life. He was a genuine person, who was truly interested in what you had to say and he wanted to share his life experiences with you too. He was a WWII vet and a firefighter. At the funeral there were firemen and military personal. It was quite moving.
Chuck was his pride and joy. And I KNOW how much he loved my sister. Char always had a special spot in her heart for him too.
I will never forget his smile, his laugh, and the way he called me "Kar". I can even hear him in my mind "How ya doin' Kar?". I love this photo of them both. This is how I will remember them.

I will never understand death. I don't know anyone really understands. So sad, but my faith helps me through.

I will truly miss you, Mr. Dortenzio. But I know you are back with your true love.

Imagination Meets Reality?

2009-02-22T13:03:00.000-05:00

Imagination is such a wonderful thing, and for our little girl we have really watched it develop over the last year or so. Her play is so much more dramatic and filled with all kinds of adventure. She plays out scenarios with her dolls, and the new dollhouse. She will give names to all the people. They will talk to each other, talk on the phone, and we will even hear our own conversations played back at times through the dolls.
So, when Ian got an airplane with a pilot, two passengers, and some luggage, we had an idea that Charlotte would enjoy playing with it too, but never realized how much.

The plane is made by Fisher-Price Little People. They have so many cute toys in the Little People line. In Charlotte's play, the plane travels far away and back home again because the people that fly on planes live far and can only come to visit by plane. The most special people to her that live far, and fly on planes are Auntie Amy and Uncle Andrew. So it really wasn't a huge surprise when to this day the two passengers that came on the plane are "Auntie Amy" and "Uncle Andrew". This is a picture of them. Can't you see the resemblance? (ha!)

And then she added a boy from one of the other sets and named him "Daddy". So this blonde Daddy flies with Uncle Andrew and Auntie Amy, back and forth...and he always has his pet frog. Even to this day now, she will ask, "where's the Auntie Amy" or say "the Uncle Andrew is missing". It is so stinkin' cute!

So now, Daddy, Uncle Andrew, and Auntie Amy are the jet setters in this Little People plane. They are named and that is that.

In a related topic, she has a dollhouse that she is also constantly playing with. It is also made by Fisher-Price. Anyway, one day she was playing with the Mom, Dad, babies and the little girl. The Mom and Dad were going out, so all the kids needed a baby sitter. She has another small doll that didn't come with this set, and to be honest I am not sure where she came from, but nonetheless she is now the babysitter.
I over heard her playing and giving this babysitter a name as well. Again the resemblance is uncanny, don't you agree? Go, go boots and all. (hehehe!) I actually had to ask her to repeat the name, because it made me stop short. I asked her again the babysitters name....

she replied...

"Mrs. Lymburner"!

Too funny!

The Possibilties of Prayer...

2009-02-20T09:34:00.000-05:00

So, I tried another crafty idea recently. Knitting. Yup, knitting. It is a tricky craft, that once you start can be little addicting. My Mom came over a couple of weeks ago to teach me how. Despite her wonderufl teaching, I still had some minor mess ups.
I was attempting to make a Prayer Shawl. For those of you who haven't heard of these, it is a shawl, that while it is being made the knitter is praying through each row. I got one from my AP, Jess, and Mom a few years ago when I was having surgery and going through some tough stuff. It was one of the greatest gifts I ever received. Especially at that time in my life.
One of my best friends is going through some pretty rough times right now. Since I feel helpless, I needed to try to do something. So the Prayer Shawl came into mind.
It started off well, but about ten rows in I ended up with 30 more stitches. I had to call my Mom, for reinforcement. She was able to figure out what I was doing and set me on the right path. I knitted so much in the last few weeks, because I wanted to have it done for a particular date.
Anyway, long story short. It is done. Lots of prayers, maybe some swears, but the end result is prayers for three very special people in my life.

Babies, opinions, options...ugh!

2009-02-12T20:22:00.008-05:00

So, I'm sure you've all heard by now about the mom who had octuplets last week. She and her story have been all over the news. She recently had an interview on the TODAY show on NBC, and on DATELINE. I was so compelled to watch. I went to see what she had to say, what her doctors told her, and how she manages all 14 children she has now. She explained how she went through IVF to have all of her children. She wanted a big family. Her doctor implanted 6 embryos each time, and now she has 14 children.
UGH!
Now there are people all over this country and other countries around the world that have comments, or should I say criticism. Criticism not only of the fact that she has 14 children, she is a single mother, but criticism of infertility treatments in general. I am disgusted by some peoples comments. I am disheartened by the limited knowledge people have about infertility, but yet they can still comment. Don't get me wrong, I am not so sure I agree with her decisions. It is all the criticism of infertility that her story has raised that upsets me.

As a person who has dealt with infertility I am finding the whole thing very troubling! It is disturbing because because I think it puts a very false impression out there about what infertility is and about how it's handled. It's just a much more thought out process and highly regulated and I just don't think most people realize what all goes into it. How much forethought and care go into each and EVERY decision. It is more than just deciding to do fertility treatments. It is more than just deciding to have a baby.

It is more than just going in one day for a procedure and then you are pregnant.

There are blood tests.
There are medications.
There are procedures.
There are appointments.
There are dates, times, specifics.
There are therapy sessions.
There are shots.
There is waiting.
There is second guessing your decision.
There is "Why us" or "why me".
There is heartache.
There is discussions about things you can't even imagine!
There is hope.
There is prayer.
There is love.

I know there are people who disagree with fertility treatments, and while they are entitled to their opinions, I don't understand why.

To me, to us, we thank God for the opportunity to even have a family.

Thank you to all the wonderful people at The Center for Advanced Reproductive Services.

New Feature...

2009-01-30T15:59:00.002-05:00

Listen. Is your volume up? Music. What do you think?

Father Involvement

2009-01-29T19:33:00.003-05:00

I saw this video today and it made me smile. It made me think about how great a father my husband is to our kids. I can picture him doing this one day, can't you?
(hint: let it all load first, then watch the whole thing)

There's nothing hotter than a man who loves his kids...and his wife of course!

Dimples!

2009-01-21T20:59:00.004-05:00

Dimples! I love them. As my brother-in-law and sister-in-law can attest to, I love dimples on guys. Too cute. They actually have a good friend that I told them he has the greatest dimples "that I could eat soup out of them".

Now I was watching American Idol tonight and this guy came on who was very cute. Or "had a lot to offer" ;) ...his dimples were the first thing that caught my eye.
His name was Brent. So, if he makes it past Hollywood or even if you watch at all, look for Brent. Also a name from my past, that my sisters could be gently reminded of. A lifeguard at Hammonassett Beach that I was also quite smitten with at one point in my life.

But, I digress.

Back to dimples.

Not necessarily a small thing that gives me strength, but definitely a small thing that makes me smile.

And smiles always give me strength.

Green Lollipops

2009-01-15T19:59:00.007-05:00

So tonight I am saying goodnight to my "most favorite girl in the world", as I call her, Charlotte. She gives me her famous "one more hug and kiss", also known as a stall tactic.

Tonight, I needed something. My work life is completely out of control and I had an absolutely terrible day.

But, in the great tradition for what I started this blog for in the first place...finding strength in the small things, she made my night and whole day.

When a three year old starts a comment with "Mommy you smell like...", one never knows what will come next.

Tonight I was pleasantly surprised and somehow, it made my whole terrible day drift away.

"Mommy, you smell like green lollipops!"

Thank you Charlotte. I love you.

Unexpected Gift

2009-01-11T15:20:00.006-05:00

This Christmas was filled with gifts, both big and small. Both meaningful and practical. But, I also received what might possibly be the most unexpected and most wonderful gift I got.

A few years ago my grandfather, aka Poppie, passed away and my Mom and her two sisters went through his house dividing up belongings and memorabilia. When they were finished there were a few things that were available for us grandkids. Actually granddaughters, Poppie had six granddaughters. There was really only one thing that I wanted to have. It was his, or our family, Bible. I thought it would be great to have, since Gordon and I didn't have one of our own in the house and this one had some handwritten dates and family tree-like things inside.

So, long story short...if more than one of us wanted the same thing, our names went in a hat and it was chosen at random who would get that particular item. My cousin Erin and I both wanted the Bible.
Can you see where I am going with this?
Names in a hat...Erin's name pulled out. She got the Bible. While I was disappointed, I knew it was fair. Now, this was a few years ago.

This Christmas, Erin and Anne came to our house on Christmas Day. Erin told me she had something for me. It was the Bible. This was the greatest gift.

I don't know how to thank her enough. I know she told me that she wanted me to have it, for our family, for our kids.

Erin, you are one in a million. Thank you.

DONE!!!

2009-01-10T14:05:00.013-05:00

Yippee! I finally finished the quilt for Ian. I posted briefly about it before it was finished, but now it is done!! I used my Dad's plaid shirts to make the airplanes. Then a navy blue with white stars for the border and backing. There is also a light brown border as well. I found this pattern even before Ian was born, and kept saying if I had a boy I would use Dad's shirts and make it.
Then my good friend, Ann, used her quilting machine to do the quilting for me. We chose a pattern that looked to us like clouds. This photo doesn't even do it justice. But, she did a wonderful job, don't you agree?
Thanks Ann!!

I had made a small quilt out of Dad's shirts before for Charlotte and made the shirts into houses.It is cute! I think that she will treasure it. I also made four little pillows out of Dad's shirts too, just after he passed. One for Mom, one for Char, one for Sue, and one for me. Then the first thing I made was for Anthony, my nephew, who was just under one year old when he died. It was a quilt made only of Dad's shirts and a navy for the backing. It was the first tribute to my Dad. And I think helped me heal.

I wanted Ian to have a little piece of him too. Now he does!

Spoonflower

2009-01-07T13:37:00.006-05:00

Spoonflower.com...I found this site through a lovely woman at work. She had an article from the local newspaper called "Fabricate Your Own Fabric At Online Site". This woman was Pat Ligas, who also recent passed away unexpectedly. I wasn't able to find the article itself to connect you to it, because I am not sure what paper she got it from. She was such a great lady, who photocopied the article for me because she knew I was a crafter/quilter, and knew I had small children in my life. The site is called Spoonflower. Pat had a great idea that I could take one of Charlotte's drawings and make it into a fabric. What a sweet idea, don't you agree?

I guess whether you're a Project Runway hopeful or a home crafter, you can have your own graphics and designs printed onto cotton fabric thanks to Spoonflower. After registering with the site and confirming via email, simply upload a design. Designs can be centered or repeated across the fabric. You can start with a swatch for five dollars or order up to three yards for $54. You'll currently only have to wait up to three weeks to have your very own custom fabric.
They have a website and a blog. Check it out. Very cool idea. Now only if I could get Charlotte to draw something, or if I had any kind of drawing abilities in me. Oh well, I still think it a great idea. Maybe someday.

Thanks Pat! I will never forget you.

Rocket Man!

2009-01-04T14:02:00.002-05:00

I have been following a blog called Sew Mama Sew for some time now. They have so many great ideas and fun things to try. Over the past few weeks leading up to Christmas they had these Handmade for the Holidays features, where they would feature a variety of ideas that other readers of the blog had.
I used one idea to make these Christmas gifts. Rocket ships and little men to ride in them. I found this one on the Sew Mama Sew blog, which linked me here. The link gave me instructions and a pattern to follow.

I actually made three of these for three very special little boys, who are very near and dear to my heart for Christmas. I think they were a hit. Pretty easy and pretty cute, huh?

ps. This is my 50th post!!! Thanks for faithfully reading. :)

How Do You Know?

2008-12-31T10:01:00.002-05:00

How do you know if you are a good friend, wife, mother, daughter, sister, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, etc? How do you know? By the people around you? By the way people treat you? By the comments that people make? By the way people talk when they are with you? By the fact that people even want to be with you?

How do you know?

Now I don't want this post to turn into people saying "oh, Karen you are a good...". I am just posting this because I feel like I don't know. I feel like I am looking for reassurance, but it seldom comes. OR I only hang my hat on the negative comments and then try to figure out how I can make it better or change it. Focusing on the negative, not the positive. Why?
Then when someone whose comments should mean the most, tells you that you are a good..., why don't we believe it?

I guess I don't really expect an answer. I just wanted to ask the question...how do we know?

I can't stop!

2008-12-21T15:10:00.005-05:00

I just can't stop playing with the fabrics and making these bags! So here's the latest In Town Bag from Amy Butler, with her Midwest Modern Fabrics, by little ol' me. Pretty, huh?

I made this for a special lady for Christmas. I think she will love it, don't you?

Now, what next?

Messy Eater? Little Drooler?

2008-12-18T21:02:00.002-05:00

No problem! I found this pattern in the book Bend the Rules Sewing by Amy Karol. It is a simple bib pattern that I used to make bibs for one special baby I know, for Christmas. I used my new fabrics again from Heather Bailey and Amy Butler. Not typical baby fabrics. Which I love. Plus this was the first time I ever used a snap tool to put the finishing touches on.
These are "Chic Bibs". Don't you agree?I am very much a fan of handmade gifts. Always have been. Now I have a way to try some new things and give gifts truly from the heart.
Now if only I could start a business doing what I love?!?

Another Creation!

2008-12-12T21:28:00.007-05:00

Ok, so now I'm addicted!! I can't stop making bags and other goodies that I hope to giveaway to friends and family at Christmas. This is a bag that I finished last weekend, but hadn't had a chance to take the photo.I used the Amy Butler In Town Bag pattern and two coordinating fabrics that I "won" on ebay, from Heather Bailey's Pop Garden fabric line. So pretty, wouldn't you agree?

It has two pockets inside, which actually were a little easier to make this time, than the last time I made a bag. Plus this bag is definitely smaller. A little more sophisticated, rather than real functional.

Then for the closure, I added a decorative button and some ribbon. It really is a fairly easy pattern to follow, if anyone out there is interested in giving it a try.

I really love how it came out. And I think I need to make more. I am having a blast with all this fabric and all these new patterns. Somebody Stop Me!

Trancending with Friends...

2008-12-11T20:41:00.004-05:00

I found this You Tube Video by Kelly Corrigan and found it so moving, that I had to post about it. I thank God for my friends every day. You know who you are...you've helped me through the tough times and laughed with me through the happy times too. I love you guys!

It's is worth a watch.

One

2008-12-04T20:25:00.005-05:00

One, 1, single, solitaire...all words meaning the same thing. One seems so small, and almost insignificant. But not today. Not for us. Not for Ian. Today marks his first birthday. One whole year has passed. I remember that day like it was yesterday.
I had been having contractions off and on for over a month. We were finally going in to be induced and meet our new little one. We had to be in by 7am.

One whole year ago on that ride I talked to you. I told you how much I loved you. I told you how anxious I was to meet you. I told you to be patient with us as we made the transition of having you -- another little baby; a new person; a new member of our family. I told you that it was the holidays and what that meant. I told you that I was ready for you when you were ready to join us. And, I told you that this holiday season, we were extra thankful for you.

One whole year ago, Nana came over and stayed with your sister.

One whole year since we arrived at the hospital, scared, excited, and anxious at a very early hour of the morning.

One whole year since your Daddy coached me along.

One whole year since Dr. Mihalek asked Daddy to cut the cord.

One whole year, since he did!

One year passed in a blink of an eye!
Happy Birthday Ian!

I am just as grateful for you today as I was that day one whole year ago.

Thank you for being you. Thank you for the cuddles, giggles, and smiles.
Thank you for reminding me about the small things in life that we could miss otherwise.

Tradition!

2008-12-02T20:55:00.001-05:00

So for a few years now, my older sister, my Mom, and I have gotten together on the weekend after Thanksgiving and made Peanut Brittle. It is a "family" recipe that involves a candy thermometer, constant stirring, to a specific temperature, add more ingredients, and stir some more, thenquick spreading with a fork, while trying not to get burned...and spreading on a cool surface. We have a special "heirloom" that we use as our cool surface...
Let it cool, then break it up into pieces! Yum!
In years past we have had others join us, join the fun, and craziness that is making peanut brittle. This year, both my sisters and my Mom and I were there, along with some of our kids. Craziness, but a lot of fun too.

Tradition! You don't monkey with tradition! :)

Thankful for...

2008-11-26T09:21:00.005-05:00

Well, here it is...Thanksgiving. I love this holiday, although it got alittle tainted 8 years ago. When I think about giving thanks, I can't help but think of all the wonderful little things or even big things that I have in my life. I decided to focus on the happy things this year. What makes me tick? What makes me thankful? What are the things that make me who I am? Humm...it got me thinking.

I came up with this list of five things I am thankful for this year:
1. My husband and marriage---Gordon, you are my best friend. I would not be the same without you. You make me smile everyday. We are truly partners in this marriage. We look to each other for guidance and strength. Equal partners, equals in every way. You are the most special gift that I am thankful for. Thank you!
2. My Kids---There was a time in my life when I thought I would never be a Mom. Well, God just had a different plan for us. Now I have the most wonderful little ones. I remember when I was pregnant with Ian, good friends told me that it is amazing how much love you have for kids in your heart. I worried I wouldn't have enough for two...but boy do I!
3. My Family---Mom G, Mom D, Dad D, Char, Sue, Chuck, Keith, Eric, Andrew, Amy, and Sarah!!! Plus all the wonderful nieces and nephews I have, and extended family...aunts, uncles, cousins. I am surrounded by people who love me. Even if I don't see or talk to them everyday, I feel their love!
4. My Friends---I am so lucky to have many great friends in my life. Each one of you teach me something about myself everytime I see you, talk to you, or just think of you. Each of you contribute to who I am...make me stronger each day. Thank you for your love!
5. My Health---I recently had some scary things related to my health, that I will continue to struggle with, but for the most part I am a healthy, happy 35 year old. I need to remember to be thankful for this too.

I'm sure I could go on and on about my gifts in life that I am thankful for, but these are the ones that are foremost in my mind. If I kept listing, I'm afraid you all would stop reading.

So, tell me what five things are you thankful for?

Happy Thanksgiving to you all.

Look what I can do....

2008-11-24T20:42:00.007-05:00

Well, I finally did it. Something different with my sewing machine. Something different than quilts and potholders. In a previous post I wrote about winning some new books and fabric on ebay. These are two fabrics I won and a pattern from Amy Butler's book Little Stitches for Little Ones.
The fabric is from Amy Butler's Belle line. So pretty...don't you agree?

I actually had this bag finished for alittle while, but I didn't want to post about it until I was able to give it to it's new owner.
I love these fabrics! It is the Everything Bag pattern by Amy Butler. I think I am becoming more and more of a fan of hers.
It was the first time, not only that I made something like this, but the first time I used interfacing, and made elastic pockets and dividers. It was fun for sure!
But even more fun to give away!

My Dad

2008-11-21T21:07:00.003-05:00

Well, it's been eight years, since the darkest day of my life thus far. My Dad passed away suddenly. I have never been the same since. I can't seem to forget the events, the different specifics about that day...that sometimes I wish I could forget. I don't know if it ever gets easier. I think about him so much, especially this time of year.
One of my best friends said something to me about losing a parent that has stuck with me. She said it doesn't get easier, it is just something we learn to accept. I miss him so much. I have lost a number of people in my life, but there is nothing like losing a parent. And a father daughter relationship is something special. Or atleast it was for us.

I want to take this post and remember how wonderful he was. He was so much fun! A great sense of humor, and a way of making people feel comfortable. He knew how to have fun. Many people tell me that I am like him in that way, and I can only hope that is true.

I remember when Gordon, my Mom, my Dad, and I all went to Washington D.C. to see his favorite team the Washington Redskins play. We even got to go on the field before the game. One of my best friends had gotten us the tickets. My Dad was beaming the whole time. I will NEVER forget his face, and how excited he was.

He knew how to live life. How to love life! I know alot of people say things like this about people after they are gone, but those of you who really knew my Dad, I think would agree.
I would love to hear any and all memories that anyone out there has of this remarkable man that I miss, and I know many of you miss as well.
Please tell me.

I love you Daddy, and miss you everyday, not just on November 22.

PS I just posted this at 9pm, and a commercial came on the tv, when I hit "publish post" about Johnnie Walker...coincidence, I think not! :)

Another Chance to Win!!

2008-11-12T18:59:00.005-05:00

Another way to win! I can't get enough of all the talented people out there. I have been following the Old Red Barn blog for awhile now, and this extremely talent person is giving away three quilts! I can't even imagine how great it would be to own one of these works of art. She is so talented!! Just look at these...
I can only hope to be as talented too one day. I'm working on it. :)

First Steps!

2008-11-09T20:52:00.007-05:00

Today Ian took his first steps! Just eleven months old. How fast he has grown? Almost one year old, climbing everything, and now beginning to walk...too fast.

He literally is too fast, it is hard to get a photo of him, and he seems to be growing even faster.

He took his first steps the same spot Charlotte did. It, of course, made me cry. I am a sap, or I like to think of it as sentimental...sensitive, but in a good way. Such an exciting thing, learning to walk.

First steps. Where will they lead? It makes me think of his future. What does it hold? How will I keep up? How can I be sure to savor these small steps, when soon they will be so big!

Off and running...now just try to keep up! (photo from www.marionderrett.com)

There are no words...

2008-11-05T20:24:00.004-05:00

I recently learned of another giveaway that I had to check out. But in checking it out I found it is so much more than a giveaway. I have no more words to say than what is written about Baby Mia on this A Mama Drama Blog

Also there is a blog just about helping this sweet baby and her family.

Check it out. It's a tear jerker. Consider donation.

The Vote!

2008-11-04T19:54:00.004-05:00

It's funny how living in the USA gives us so many freedoms that we take for granted. Of course today is election day, polls closing here in CT in approximately 5 minutes from now.

As I waited in line for my paper ballot, I was thinking about who to vote for. What are the things that matter to me and my family? How will this election effect the future of our country? The future our children will inherit? I took my ballot to my little partitioned desk. Picked up the marker. And stared at the names on the ballot. I stared for a while. Thinking about everything that I have heard on the tv, radio, read in the paper, magazines, etc. Trying to make sense of it all again in that moment. These names on the paper can effect my life and the lives of my kids, my Mom, my "other" parents, my sisters, brothers, everyone I know and love. Do you think they know that the little people like me struggle with giving them that power?

Ok, I know some of you are thinking..."Karen, you're one vote is not that powerful". But to me it is. I am an American. Proud to be one. I have the freedoms that come with living in this country. And the responsibility to vote for the leaders that are in charge of our country and our states.

So, it's out of my hands. I've picked my candidate. Now we watch and wait.

Sickness...

2008-11-02T13:36:00.005-05:00

We have had sickness in our home for almost three weeks now. We seem to keep passing it back and forth between us all. yuck! I think I started it all with some sinus allergies, or was it more. Then taking a ten month old for a chest X-ray...as you might imagine...not so fun. Came back negative, Thank Goodness..but ear infection instead. Then just when we thought we were all on the mend, my three year old spikes a fever...bronchitis. Ugh! It is no fun seeing little ones sick. (almost as bad as a grown man being sick... :))

And to top it all off, I end up back with it and a sinus infection.

So, now that I am feeling a little bit better...I am cleaning like a mad woman. All the sheets, all the towels, everything. I need to get it out of my house!
We are now all hopefully on the mend!

It is amazing how much you appreciate your health, after you've been sick. One not so small thing to be thankful for, but we take for granted when we are healthy. hummm...

YIKES!

2008-10-24T12:56:00.005-04:00

Well, I'm officially freaked out. We recently had another home invasion in our neighborhood. YIKES! Is the only word I can describe how I am feeling.

About a month or so ago we had another one here too. What is happening to our world? How do you explain things like this to our kids?

When I was a Freshman in high school, my sisters and I were home when a man broke into our house and started ransacking the place. He never knew we were home, Thank God, and he was arrested in our kitchen. I will NEVER forget the sound of the police shouting "Freeze, Newington Police". And I think I have never been the same.

Now we lock our doors, set safety locks on the windows, dead bolts everywhere and our trusted Sophie barking...why? Because these brazen criminals think they can just invade our homes, even when we are home!

I win!!

2008-10-18T10:03:00.008-04:00

I recently joined ebay in hopes to see what was out there for fabrics and such, since many quilt shops here in CT don't carry the Amy Butler and Heather Bailey fabric that I am beginning to love. I am also looking for inspiration to hone my quilting and sewing skills. I love to do it, but feel like I want to expand what I can make and all that good stuff. There are so many talented people out there, and I want to be one of them. Plus giving away all my projects is something I love to do. I love when people I love get gifts that I have made. It warms my heart.
So, on ebay...I WON! I won two packages of fat quarters of Amy Butler's Midwest Modern and Heather Bailey's Pop Garden fabric. Which came in the mail a week or so ago! yea!
Plus two books...I had them on my Christmas list, but couldn't resist bidding on them now. One is Bend the Rules Sewing, by Amy Karol and the other is Little Stitches for Little Ones by Amy Butler. I can't wait to try out some patterns with my new fabric! ooo...imagine the possibilities. Now I need to find the time. And hopefully soon, I will have something new to post!

Pigtails and Snails

2008-10-14T21:35:00.004-04:00

I found a blog called Pigtails and Snails, where the author is a quilter that I can only describe as WOW!
And well, I am shamelessly posting about a beautiful quilt that Elizabeth Cranmer is giving away. She is so talented, wouldn't you agree.
I added the link to the sidebar, if you want to check it out. I am going to try to win it. I can't believe she is giving it away!
I can only hope to do a giveaway like this one day. Although, I guess giving all my quilts and projects away up to this point, is kind of like the same thing. Check her out, she is quite talented!

What to do?

2008-10-09T10:34:00.004-04:00

A new life, new hope, new prayers....

Here's a link with at least something else you and I can do.

Consider it.

For Luck!

2008-10-03T21:12:00.008-04:00

I appliquéd this shamrock onto a quilt project that one of my best friend's sisters is making for her, because she and her husband wanted one.

The shamrock has been an Irish symbol for good luck forever.

The luck of the Irish, I am sending their way tonight.

Rath Dé ort!

Bail ó Dhia ort!

Nineteen Minutes

2008-09-24T20:34:00.003-04:00

Well, I just finished another book that has me wanting to share with all of you my own rendition of a book report. With everything that is going on in my life right now, I have found some escape in books. Maybe I have taken some cues from Charlotte, but I am really enjoying myself.

Anyway, Nineteen Minutes, by Jodi Picoult was another recommendation by some friends. This is another one that I couldn't put down (once I found the time to sit and read). It is a novel about a small New Hampshire town that is rocked by an act of violence in its high school. The shooter, a "victim" of bullying. The victims, everyone else, from the children who died, to the teachers, the policemen, the parents of the children who died and this shooter. It was a great book that I would recommend to anyone. There is a trailer for this book and you can read an excerpt online at Jodi's website. It's a gripping story about something that is in the forefront of the minds of parents of teenagers and those of us who work in high schools across the country.

"In nineteen minutes you can mow the front lawn, color your hair, watch a third of a hockey game. In nineteen minutes you can bake muffins, get a tooth filled by a dentist, you can fold laundry for a family of five. In nineteen minutes you can stop the world..." or change it for everyone around you.

helpless

2008-09-16T20:39:00.006-04:00

Tonight I feel helpless. I have three friends, who I love very much, going through some pretty terrible things in their lives.
I want to help and don't know how. I don't even think there is a way. There is nothing I can do to take away the pain. There is nothing I can do to make it better.

All I can do is be there for them if or when they need me.

Life is so unpredictable.

Sew, Stamp, Sew!

2008-09-14T20:21:00.009-04:00

This weekend I did SO much with my sewing machine! I just love it. I have been trying to think of new fun things to do on it that would be fun quick projects. It was such fun.
First, I made some cards. As many of you know I love to stamp cards and such, but this weekend I decided to combine my two crafting loves. Stamping and sewing. I made these two cards. I'm happy with them. I think the next time I do it, they will be better, but I am happy with how they turned out. What do you think? This picture makes it tough to see, but the stroller and the balloons are fabric and the legs of the stroller and the strings of the balloon are stitched. It was pretty cool to do.

Then I made some headbands. There is a tutorial on the Old Red Barn Co. Blog. I followed it mostly to the tee, made two headbands that fit me, but were too big for Charlotte. So today I modified the pattern and made alittle bit smaller one and here's how it turned out. Pretty cute, if I do say so myself.
It was such a fun crafting weekend! Now back to the grind.

Snow Flower and the Secret Fan

2008-09-12T21:18:00.005-04:00

So another attempt to escape from the stress of work I have begun to read again. Based on a recommendation from a very good friend, I read the book called Snow Flower and the Secret Fan, by Lisa See.
I couldn't put it down. It is a novel based in 19th century China. And the premise of the book is two friends or laotong, "old same", who are paired together at a very young age and live their lives together in all senses of what that means. The two girls had to match birth dates, be in the same birth order in both families, have the same size foot, etc. They became emotional matches for life. In addition, the book introduced me to nu shu, which was the secret writing of women in the Chinese culture. Women would literally paint these words to each other in secret. Men of this time did not read nu shu. It was just for women. A way to share their hopes and dreams in a world that did not value women, except to bear a son.
The book follows these two girls through their lives, from footbinding to marriage, and having a son, which is only what made their status in the household more important. It was an extremely interesting read, with quite the story of friendship and how things can become difficult or strained in a close relationship, just because of a misunderstanding.

If you are looking for a good book, I would recommend this one.

Aunt Gene's Pear Bread

2008-09-12T21:05:00.004-04:00

By popular demand...here's the recipe and a photo that is a couple years old from Aunt Gene's 85th birthday!

1 cup grated pears (although I just chopped them small, skin and all)
1 stick of butter
1 cup sugar
2 eggs
2 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon vanilla
pinch of nutmeg
1/4 cup buttermilk (although Aunt Gene told me to just use regular milk with alittle lemon juice, which I did)

Mix it all together. Bake at 350, in a greased loaf pan for 55-60 minutes!!!
Yummy!!! Love you Auntie Gene!

Yum!!

2008-09-07T14:41:00.007-04:00

I have a wonderful aunt, who I know will never really read this, because I don't even think she has a computer. She is one of my Dad's six older sisters. She is a very special lady. Anyway, she has a pear tree in her yard that every year yields tons of pears. This year she called us to come and take some if we wanted. We did! Yum!! We took a bunch and I have been making her
pear bread recipe now almost every weekend since then. It has been great fun making them with my daughter and the fact that it was this special lady's recipe makes it even more special.

I love this bread and I think I could eat it everyday.
Thanks Aunt Gene!

If anyone wants this easy recipe, let me know and I'll post it! Yummy!!

What truly matters?

2008-09-05T15:40:00.003-04:00

I got one of the best pieces of advice yesterday at work. One of those 25 special education teachers told me to just "stay here" (as she pointed to her heart). I totally needed that. As I sit here at the end of a LONG day...where I feel like giving up...I am reminded of that comment.
Then this song, In My Daughter's Eyes, came on in the car. Love it!
My kids, husband, and family are all that truly matter.

Click here to see and hear Martina McBride sing it live.

In My Daughter's Eyes lyrics:
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the
world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me
strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes

And when she wraps her hand
around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about

It's hangin' on when your heart
has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy
she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes

I love you Charlotte!

(photo courtesy of www.allthingsbeautiful.com)

90210

2008-09-02T21:00:00.008-04:00

So I am sitting here watching the end of the new 90210 on CW20. Now I must admit I was a 90210 junkie when the original came out in the early 90's. Actually, I started watching it in syndication. I became obsessed with Brandon, Brenda, Kelly, Andrea, Dylan, Donna, Steve, David, and Valerie. Plus who could forget Nat and the Peach Pit. (right Phil?) Anyway, I fully admit that I was into the whole thing. Maybe alittle sad, I know, but I was. Episodes like "Donna Martin Graduates", "Brandon's proposal to Kelly", and some others. I know some of you out there are laughing to yourselves (right, Phil?) But anyone who watched this show, or any show that was somehow iconic in someway, has memories behind it. Memories that we don't soon forget or come rushing back at these triggers.

Now this new cast and show, has some of the old characters, but much older. Like Kelly and David's half sister Erin is now in West Beverly Hills High. Weird, but still interesting to watch. Kelly (Jennie Garth) and Brenda (Shannen Doherty) are making special guest appearances. Even Nat (Joe E. Tata), made an appearance. So crazy!

So my stress relief for tonight, has been reliving some old memories, and laughing while writing this post and watching this new show.

Stress!

2008-08-31T17:15:00.005-04:00

Well, I made it atleast physically through the first week back to work. It was pretty tough. Up at 5:30am, getting myself and two kids ready for the day, out the door, to daycare and to work on time. Not to mention the craziness that is my job this time of year. Attempting to schedule 78 children into the OT schedules for the week without taking them from their core academics, their specials (music, art, etc.), and avoiding lunch and recess...is no easy task. Then on top of it all, there are not enough OT hours provided by the school system to cover all the needs. So I have to be creative, and efficient in making three schedules, for this large number of kids getting OT and all seven schools! Have a headache? I do when I think about it.
I told myself that I wasn't going to think about it during this long weekend, but coming online today I got an email about another new student that we have to fit in. It sent me to www.careerbuilder.com to look for something else. I really had had it! I kept thinking there has to be a place where the administration would value what I can do as an occupational therapist and appreciate the difficulty that lies in dealing with 78 kids, two assistants, some twenty-five special education teachers, and seven different schools. ugh! I promised myself that I wasn't going to let all this get to me this year, but...

Now I've complained too much!

Stress! I know, I know we all have stressful jobs. I am not the only one. I think I just have a harder time with stress management than most. How do you all handle stress? It is said that stress can have negative effects on your body and life. Maybe blogging will help relieve some.
Deep breath!

(atleast the wedding last night was a good start to stress relief! Thanks Vicki and Scott!) :)

Vacation Nights

2008-08-22T13:28:00.005-04:00

I have a really good friend who has coined the term "vacation night" for the night when he is off the next day. I love this term, especially from him because he has quite the way of delivering the "vacation night" phrase.
So, I am borrowing his coined phrase to describe the fact that I only have two vacation nights left. School starts next week. Back to the grind, as they say. It has been a wonderful summer, and I am definitely not looking forward to all the stress that comes with working full time, and being a Mom full time as well. As I've said before I love my job, but it is stressful.

So two more vacation nights left...hummm, how to spend them. Saying so long to a wonderful summer full of vacation nights and hello to an exciting new school year. How are you all spending the last few days of summer? And when is the next vacation night?

Oh no, they didn't!

2008-08-19T13:57:00.005-04:00

When it comes to TV commercials, I used to become enthralled, now I don't have the time. I'm off to grab a snack, fold laundry--anything but watch 30 to 60 seconds of someone telling me I can't live without their product or service. But recently, one apparel retailer has stopped me dead in my tracks, as I stare at the television in absolute awe. The new JCPenney commercial actually stopped me mid-bite of a snack. And nothing gets between me and my food. Until now. Do not click the link, if you do not want the wonderfulness that is the 1985 Breakfast Club and it's innocence to be tainted.

Those of us who live for 80's music and movies, may find this commercial tough to take. Ok, those of you who don't love The Breakfast Club, like I do, may wonder why this is something I even need to post about. Maybe I am dating myself or causing some of you to think..."the 80's? yuck!", but I don't care!

The song in this new commercial has been one that I have loved since the day it was released. It is "Don't You (Forget About Me)", by Simple Minds released in 1985.
Here's what the song really is supposed to sound like (with alittle more of the movie to watch)...when it was done by Simple Minds. In my craziness of learning more about this commercial I have found out that this song was redone for the commercial by a group called New Found Glory. It's good, but nothing compares to the original.
Now, why post about this. I'm not really sure, except that it struck me so much. JCPenney? The Breakfast Club? Simple Minds? It just doesn't all go together in my head! Plus there is a girl in the commercial wearing a Nirvana T-shirt! I guess I just am having a hard time putting it all together. Ha!

I can almost hear the ad executives in the meeting about this advertising plug:
"Let's really alienate the youth and show them how them just how much we don't get it by re-doing The Breakfast Club film! You know - the cult classic that so many people hold so dear?!"

"The one with that cute Molly Ringwald in it?"

"Yes! And let's 'update' Ally Sheedy's character and turn her into an adorable girl with a pageboy cut who wears polo jumpers!"

"Let's eliminate the burnout character and instead turn him into a hipster who wears a cool cotton hoodie!"
UGH!!!

I love The Breakfast Club! If there is anyone out there that has not seen this movie. Shame on you! Rent it tonight. It is worth it!

As for the commercial, oh no, they didn't!

Which would you choose?

2008-08-17T14:59:00.005-04:00

So there is one of those puzzling questions out there, "Which would you rather lose, your sight or your hearing?". I've always thought that I would rather lose my sight because the thought of not hearing music or my loved ones words, seemed the lesser of the two evils to me.
But now, I just don't know.

I recently have had some issues with my eyes. I am ok, so no one freak out out there. I was seeing floaters in my vision. It was pretty scary and began happening at the end of my pregnancy and lasted into the first few months of Ian's life. I initially thought it was the lack of sleep, but then it kept going. I have gone to a couple of doctors and had my eyes dilated twice now. (if you've never had that done, it is a pretty nerve wracking experience) I basically had trouble seeing the whole day after having that done. Yikes!
The bottomline is that my eyes are pretty much ok. They did notice one tiny thing in my right eye, that is "probably nothing", but I have to go to one more doctor to rule out some other things. It's good news.

So back to the original question...Not being able to really see for two whole days, I can't choose.
Could you?

Time

2008-08-14T15:33:00.002-04:00

Time has become something that is important to me and is a burden as well. How many times do we hear what time is it? Or do you have time? Or time flies! Or Time is precious. And finally, where did the time go? There are appointments, dates, show times, and such. Everything revolves around time!

So many people look at time differently. In my life there is "Gordon Time" and "Linda Time", which are not that different, actually. There is nap time, supper time, bedtime, etc., etc. I wish for quilting time, vacation time, but hate to think about losing time, or work time.

I also am feeling like time is running out on my summer with my children. I know, I should be thankful that I have a job that allows me this time with them, but somehow I want more.

It is funny how we are all either wishing for more time, or wishing time would move faster, but we never seem to be quite content with how time is moving.

Last week I had a meeting with our Director of Special Education about the amount of time the town has allotted me and my assistants to do our job and the amount of time that is needed to do the job. Never mind the time that is needed to do our job well. Since last week I have been back and forth with her about time. How our time is spent, etc.
Nowhere else in my life, except my professional life, do I have to account for every minute of the day. How it is spent, what I am doing, who I am talking to, where I am, etc., etc. It is nerve-wracking! Don't get me wrong. I do love my job. I had posted before that I love being an OT and working with children. It is just this part of my position in this particular school system that drives me mad. I am sure there are people in this same type of position that take advantage of the time, or the fact that we are travelers, but I do not. I think that's why I am so annoyed by having to justify any and all time that I am at work. Plus there are school-based OT's that do not have to justify time like this, it just so happens I am in a town that requires it.

Needless to say this meeting and now all this "time" conversation has me thinking. Why do we wish it away some days and wish it would stop on other days?

When I think about my kids growing up, I think I want time to slow down, but when I am sitting here waiting for them to wake up from their nap, there are days that I wish time would speed up. I want them to grow and change, but at the same time I want them to stay little forever. Does that make sense?

I find myself thinking about my Dad too. I have always felt that his time here ended way too early. Is that just my selfishness because I want him still here?

Friends and family that I don't see that often...I want the time that we are together again to come faster, but when we are finally together I don't want time to move.
I was recently with a group of friends where we lost track of time. Normally we are only together for a few hours, but before we knew it the night was gone and it was almost midnight when we said goodnight. Guess we were having fun... :)

Time is a funny thing. I guess it boils down to when we are happy and when we are not. When we are able to appreciate the time we are in at the moment is when we don't want time to move, but that's when time flies. But when we are wishing we are somewhere else, time stands still.

I guess the old saying is true..."Time flies when you're having fun". I guess the lesson here is to appreciate the time we have when we have it. Live in the moment. Those little moments can be so big!

Check it out!

2008-08-12T15:50:00.003-04:00

I finally figured out how to add the slideshow of all my quilts and things that I have quilted to this blog. I guess you could say it is my own way of showcasing some of my work. It's not much, and I know you can tell which were my very first quilts. Pretty much all of them I have given away except for my very first one, which is this green sampler one and my guestbook quilt from my wedding. I hope all of you that have them love them as much as I loved making them.
I need to make one for us. I do love it. It is just now with two small kids, finding the time is tough. As it is, right now, one is trying to crawl up onto my lap....

A new blog...

2008-08-11T10:06:00.005-04:00

Based on my last post a good friend told me about Heather Bailey, who is another fabric designer. She also has some paper packs and embellishments! I fell in love with some of her fabrics and her overall creativity that she showcases on her blog. I had to add the link to my blog as well. Wow! There are some really talented people out there! Check her out if you have some time. I got lost in the blog....

Quilting!

2008-08-08T15:00:00.002-04:00

I love quilting. These stockings are my favorite project that I have done to date. I have been quilting for ten years, and I still feel like I just can't get it perfect. I have been making quilts for friends and family and have yet to make one for myself. The closest is making some for my kids.
Here are just a few of the quilts that I have made so far..

This one was for my niece's big girl bed:
This one was the quest book at my wedding:
This one was for my Mom:
This one I made for my sister's ten year anniversary, and the blue was from my Maid of Honor dress:
This one was for a very special bride-to-be:

This one was for my little sister at her bridal shower:
This is one of my first quilts for my best friend's bridal shower:

I've also done some pot holders as gifts.

And I have made what I am calling memory quilts. I use clothing from loved ones and make them into memory quilts. My Dad passed away in 2000. I've made now two quilts and pillows from his famous plaid shirts. This is a mini quilt I made for my daughter out of those plaid shirts. And I am finishing a airplane quilt for my son, also out of the plaid shirts. Here's some samples of what it will be like:

There is a brown border and then a navy blue border with white stars in the navy. I am still trying to come up with a binding and backing fabric, so if there are any quilters out there that have a suggestion...please!!

I have been inspired by quilt blogs that I have found to show you all some of the work that I have done. And to expand to making some quilts with different fabrics than what I am used to. I LOVE the fabrics that I have found by Amy Butler and Joel Dewberry. They are not the typical quilting fabrics that I'm sure many of you are used to. I just need to find my inner creativity and pick a pattern or something to try with some of these fabrics.

I love quilting! It's a small thing that gives me strength. Quilting is creative, therapeutic, and a way for me to be me!

Olympic Anticipation!

2008-08-06T18:37:00.012-04:00

So the Olympics start on Friday. Are you excited? I am. For some reason I get very excited when the Olympics come around. Both the summer and the winter games, I really get into. I don't know if it is because I wish I had the strength and discipline to get that far on something or if it renews my faith in humanity because of the fact that the whole world comes together for some healthy competition. There is something about the torch running through all the countries and ending in a huge torch that stays lit for the two weeks or so of the games.

This year in Beijing, the theme is One World, One Dream. I think it is an inspiring one. I know there are protesters to the Olympics and those who have something to say about how the Olympics are run or where they are held, but I for one am inspired by the dedication of the athletes, the way the world comes together, and how all sports have their day in the sun.

For example, there are many local athletes from CT going to the games. I had no idea. There are about 550 athletes on Team USA. Everyone knows Michael Phelps, Misty May, and of course Dara Torres (who actually you should check out if you don't know her), but there are local athletes that are there too. Check out your state. I'm sure there are people from your state too. In researching and talking to those who do know who these people are I found there are eleven athletes from CT. Their sports range from shooting, to fencing, to basketball, to equestrian, to sailing, and archery. I'm sure I am forgetting one. Here's the link to where I found all of them.

The one I spent some time reading about was Butch Johnson from Woodstock, CT. His sport is archery. I spent some time looking into him because my nephew, Anthony, is very much into archery right now. He is actually the one who told me that Butch was going to be in Beijing. Archery is also something that I do not know that much about, but I am learning. I know in the Olympics there is a men's and women's team event and then individual events too. It is 70 meters from the archer to the target. The target is on a slight incline. The targets are, I think, 122 cm in diameter, and all the ten colors on the target are divided equally in circles. They are white, black, blue, red, and yellow. I know there are specific ways to hold the bow and arrow, but I can't remember the specifics at the moment. Click here to learn more. It is an interesting and difficult sport. Patience, practice, and discipline are a must. Anyway, I learned something. Hope you did too.

So, opening ceremonies are Friday night. 8-8-08!

Watch, Enjoy, Find a favorite...Share a moment with the world!
(alittle cheesy, I know, but I'm excited :))

11-22-2008

2008-08-02T09:14:00.003-04:00

Can't Wait!

Bigtime Boston Fan!

2008-08-01T09:31:00.010-04:00

Ok, so it was only a matter of time before I posted something about my Boston Red Sox. Yep. I said "my". I have been a Boston fan for as long as I can remember. Now with so much in the news about the trades and such, I had to add my two cents!

Manny is gone! If you don't know who Manny is, you might know the phrase "Manny being Manny" or the sign he held in the World Series parade in 2004, "Derek Jeter drinks wine coolers". Or you might recognize his infamous dreads. Anyway, Boston and the Red Sox have gotten almost as sick of Manny being Manny as all the Yankee fans out there.
Manny Ramirez has been traded to the LA Dodgers. Bottomline, he wanted to be traded and did not hide it. Whether he didn't run down the line in a game, and got booed by the fans, or making comments like "the Red Sox don't deserve me". It was time for him to go!

Yes, he is a great hitter, with unbelieveable stats, but do we really want someone who is so full of himself infecting our clubhouse? Yep, I said "our" again. I really feel somewhat like I'm effected too. I know it may sound odd to some of you reading this, but I am a proud member of Red Sox Nation! The Red Sox have had their struggles since all of this Manny stuff started to really come to a head. It makes me wonder if his negativity toward the Red Sox organization had a direct impact on the entire team.

So good bye Manny, have fun in LA, thanks for what you've done in Boston in the past, and let's see if Joe Torre can tame some of Manny being Manny.

Now I can't talk about the Red Sox without acknowledging some of the fabulous players on this team. (who I might add are not bad to look at either)
Anyway, I digress...
The third baseman, Mike Lowell, awesome!
Pitchers Tim Wakefield, Josh Beckett, Jonathan Papelbon, and my personal favorite (and my boyfriend) Jon Lester! Click here to see Jon and his stats. You won't be disappointed. Here's one photo!
This photo is catcher Jason Varitek, another of my boyfriends...so great! Here's more on Jason.
Can't forget second baseman, Dustin Pedroia...he is on fire!
The whole team is great! I love them all. These are just a few of my favorites. Plus in this Manny trade we acquired Jason Bay from the Pittsburgh Pirates. Sounds good to me!

I don't know how I got into the Red Sox, but I know I love them now. I love baseball season! I'm sure my parents got me into them. My Dad was much more of a football fan, but I'm sure he or my grandfather, aka Poppie, started me on them.

Actually, I remember one of my very first games at Fenway Park, was with my Poppie! He was going on a bus trip with the seniors from town, and his friend, Joe Tobin, couldn't go. So he gave his ticket to me! I was so excited. We sat on the first base line, had some popcorn and peanuts. Poppie showed me how to keep the stats of the game in the program. I still have that program. I found it in my attic a couple of years ago, and now it sits on the bookshelf in my living room.

Thanks Poppie! And thanks Joe!

Go Sox!

Lifetime Friends II

2008-07-30T09:19:00.005-04:00

Christian the Lion was on the TODAY show again today. They had an interview with the two men, John Rendall and Ace Bourke. Again, they talked about the interaction between themselves and the lion.
In addition, they talked alittle bit about Christian's legacy, as they put it, the wildlife conservation that they are involved in now.

Click here to learn more.

It was a great interview. Plus learning how moved these two men are about the response they are getting more than 35 years later.

Such a moving story that I am obviously drawn to.

Also to all you nay sayers...I checked it out on snopes. True!

Saying Goodbye

2008-07-28T09:08:00.007-04:00

Saying goodbye is never easy. Whether it is to a child as you go off to work, a sibling who is leaving to go back home which happens to be far away from you, or someone who you've known forever and grown up with that has passed on. Yesterday my big-brother-in-law's Mom passed away. She was a wonderful lady who always treated me and my sisters almost as her own kids.
We met her when I was still in high school, actually early high school, and she has been in our lives ever since. I posted this picture of Hammonassett Beach State Park here too because she LOVED being at the beach camping. Plus this is how I will always remember her. Her camper at the beach, smiling as she told Gordon and I how to park our camper on our site.
Another thing I will never forget is how she always signed cards "love, the "Elder" Dortenzios"...loved it!

Click here to read her obituary.

I will truly miss you Mrs. Dortenzio!

OT and the Small Things

2008-07-25T14:22:00.006-04:00

So as many of you know I am an occupational therapist and I work with children with all kinds of special needs in the public school setting.

Being an OT is so much of who I am.

I am dedicated to my work and to the families who look to me for advice, treatment, and results for their children.

I think as OT's we do things that are seem very small or something we think are so basic, but are so huge for a child or a family.

So remembering to appreciate the little things is huge.

Remembering to look at how you change the world one small thing at a time is huge too. That way you appreciate all the other small things around you, and at the same time it encourages you to see all the cool things in life you do.

This post is based on some great advice I got from a wonderful OT. Thanks Lisa!

Lifetime Friends...

2008-07-22T08:32:00.004-04:00

So, I saw this yesterday on another blog, then it was on the Today show this morning, so I wanted to share it with all of you. In case you haven't seen it...it is worth a watch. Christian the Lion on YouTube.

(of course I cried...)

Help!

2008-07-21T13:39:00.011-04:00

Help!?!

Well, I have been inspired to help. "Help" is such a powerful word. How can we help each other, help the world around us, help ourselves, etc. etc. etc.
Gordon and I are invited to a wedding at the end of the summer and the couple has a gift registry at Macy's. Now that is not all that remarkable. Everyone has registries. But theirs is different. If we buy a gift off their registry, there is a donation made to a charity. WOW! Can I just say how impressed I was with that feature? The charity that they had chosen was Girls Inc.

I went to the website and it got me thinking about how I can help.

There is another campaign that I have given to and been inspired by, that I would love for you to check out too. It is the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty and Self Esteem Fund. Having a daughter of my own and knowing that there are so many beautiful women out there that don't believe they are beautiful. Dove has started these campaigns to help. I'm sure you've seen the commercials/videos. Check out "Onslaught". How can I help Charlotte truly believe in how beautiful she is?
Another charity I've been involved in, as most of you know, is March of Dimes. There are so many great charities out there, I can't possible list them all.
You don't have to give money or donations to help. You can donate time, a listening ear to a friend in need, a shoulder to cry on, a smile to a stranger on the street, and many more. I don't want this post to turn into a soapbox for charity. I just wanted to spark something in each of you reading this to reach out to someone in need.

As many of us know the economy is not doing so hot. I for one am feeling the pinch this year. Maybe it is because I was off on my maternity leave for four months, or maybe it is because I have chosen to take this summer off to be with Charlotte and Ian. Neither of these I would change, but it does make things alittle tighter around here.
So if I am feeling the pinch, I am sure charities and those in need are feeling it too.

So here it is. I am going to add some features to my blog that could offer help and search for other ways to help too. I have so many friends and family who have been helping me not only in the last month as I started this blog, but also through the many hardships I have faced so far in my life.

There are so many ways to help. How have you reached someone today?

A Rose

2008-07-18T20:57:00.004-04:00

In loving memory of someone who always found inner strength and appreciated the small things.
Miss you Mrs. Fongemy!

Books, Books, Books!

2008-07-15T16:13:00.006-04:00

A few weeks ago I took Charlotte and Ian to the town library. Charlotte LOVES books. From the time she could speak, one of her favorite sentences was "Read da book". We decided that this was a hobby that we wanted to foster in her. She can't get enough reading. She will ask us to read and re-read the same book so many times that she memorizes it and then "reads" it to her dolls. This is actually how I found her bed this morning when she got up:

Yup! She even has to sleep with her books. It was too cute that I had to take a picture. Her big girl bed used to be filled with stuffed animals and such, now books are there instead. At night, after she is in bed, we can hear her reciting (her form of reading) the books to Darla, who is her favorite baby doll.
So we went to the library and she got her first library card. We took out three books, one of which was a huge hit. I'm sure many of you have heard of it, If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, by Laura Joffe Numeroff.
To learn more click here.
She loved it so much, that when we went back this week, we took out If You Give a Pig a Pancake, also by Laura Joffe Numeroff. I think we will have to get them all eventually. Every time we finish this one, she says "next time we have to find the Moose one". There is a picture of it at the end of this book. It's called If You Give a Moose a Muffin. I want to get this one too. :)

Here's my small thing from that trip to the library...
Charlotte made a friend when we were there!! As some of you know, Charlotte is so quiet in new situations. When she gets comfortable, she opens up to the talkative little girl that Gordon and I know. Anyway, another little girl was at the library too. She went up to Charlotte and asked her her name. I cringed because I thought "oh no, she isn't going to answer and the little girl will move on". To my absolute delight I heard her respond "Charlotte". The little girl continued on and asked how old she was..."Two" she replied with a smile.
As the tears rolled down my face (no surprise here), the two were off playing together in the library playroom.
One small thing that made me smile!

True Friends

2008-07-14T16:22:00.006-04:00

(photo courtesy of Andrew)

Well, this weekend Gordon and I (and the kids) spent time with some of my truest friends. Friday night, Saturday and Sunday...three (actually five, including their hubbies) true friends. It was definitely what I needed. Thank you guys! I love you all!

Recently there was a comment on one of my posts about what a true friend is. My brother-in-law posted a story, that if you didn't read it went like this:

So there's this guy who falls into a hole. The walls are so steep he can't climb out. A priest walks by and he calls up, "hey father, can you help me out?" The priest writes out a prayer and throws it down to him. Then a doctor walks by and he calls up, "Hey doc, can you help me out?" The doctor writes out a prescription and tosses it down to him. Then a great friend walks by and he calls up to him, "hey buddy, can you help me out?" His buddy jumps down in the hole. He says, " what the heck are you doing?!?!?! Now we are both down here!" The friend says, "yeah but, I've been down here before and I know the way out."

You can always count on your real, true friends. (Thanks, Chuck!)

How do you describe true friends? What does the word friend mean to you?

As many of you know, the relationships that I have in my life are extremely important to me. I know all too well, how quickly they can be gone. A friend to me is someone who I can call at at time during the day or night, any day of the week, or any day of the year and they will be there for me. I feel lucky to have these kinds of people in my life. I can think of a number of friends who I feel like I can call them about anything, and I will not be judged or anything. I think I will call one right now!
These friends are a "not so" small thing that definitely gives me inner strength.

Theme?

2008-07-11T14:59:00.004-04:00

Wow, I have some pretty amazing friends and family out there. The support has been unbelievable, both in comments on the blog itself and separate emails and phone calls. I am truly blessed to have each of you in my life. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for supporting me, and giving me a chance.

Since yesterday I have been thinking alot about this blog and what it means to me and to anyone who might be interested in what I have to say. To say that I have come up short is an understatement. I know that I want it to be a place to self-reflect, but also don't want to get so deep that I bore you all to death too. So, what's a girl to do.
Well, I just got back from running some errands, and in the car I was faithfully listening to my iPod, which has a number of playlists on it. One song in particular came on, that always strikes a cord in me. The song is "You Gotta Be", by Des'ree. Now I know some of you are laughing to yourselves, thinking "where the heck did that song come from". Well, it has been like a mantra of mine for many years. (see something not alot of you knew about me).

Check it out: Des'ree "You Gotta Be" video on YouTube

This song was released in 1994 and peaked at number 5 on the Billboard music charts. It also stayed on the charts for something like 80 weeks. Somehow it has become like a theme song for me. I know there was a show or something that talked about choosing your own theme song (Linda, if you are reading...help me out here). If I had to choose one, this is it. These are just some of the lyrics as to how the song begins:

Listen as your day unfolds
Challenge what the future holds
Try and keep your head up to the sky
Lovers, they may cause you tears
Go ahead release your fears
Stand up and be counted
Don't be ashamed to cry

Things I need to try to remember...

"Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it. " — David Starr Jordan

2008-07-10T10:38:00.005-04:00

This was a quote that was sent to me today...odd huh?
So today is the day that I will send out the link to this blog to all my family and friends. I will hope that all of you reading this post have come to visit, support, and help me to find that inner strength. I truly hope that all of you will visit often, comment when you can, and just help me through whatever this is I am going through and hoping to get out of starting this blog.

I love you, Gordon. You are my rock!!
Thank you for giving me the strength to try something new.