In the last month or so I have been thinking a lot about support and help. For the most part, Gordon and I don't really ask for help. We are a strong team (most of the time), and we just try to figure things out ourselves. T1D has thrown somewhat of a wrench into that for us. We have been struggling to find the balance between everyday life and diabetes. I mentioned to a good friend to think back to when her kids were little...she has three...and think about them 6, 4, and 2 years old. Then think about the oldest one, who was the most self sufficient, now needing almost as much care as the baby. It's crazy. Both of us working very demanding jobs, the kids going to all their activities, school, and daycare. It is almost too much some days.
So many people will read this and say, "we've offered to help", or "what can we do to help", and our answer is always the same.
We don't know what we need.
We just need support.
So what is support? What does that mean? Even as I am writing this, I don't know how that should look.
Support or help...what do we need.
Both, I guess.
There are days that we are good. There are days that are just ok. And there are days that are not good at all. My head hits the pillow and I am so exhausted from all the emotion and stress that I just can't even think anymore.
I know some people will read this and think, "it's Type One Diabetes, it's not Cancer" and while that is true, this is my life and the life of my little girl forever. That has been a very tough pill for me to swallow. I need to feel that it's ok and I don't. I still want it to go away.
It is time to reach out for support. It is time to reach out for help. We need it. And the first step is admitting it. :)
I started writing this post a few days ago and now reading it back up to this point, I think I have to realize that support and help looks different to different people.
I have family and friends who check in on us often. Either calls, emails, FB messages, or whatever...they check in.
I have other family who want to do more. They want to be the Type 3's with us.
I have friends who every once in awhile will text or call or something and just say three simple words "Thinking of you" or "I miss you".
I have co-workers who whenever they think of it, ask "how's Charlotte doing?" and then inevitably the next question is "and how are you?"
We have gone to support groups.
We have had other families, who have been dealing with T1D longer than us, reach out to us.
And still there are others, who I know are thinking of us and caring for us even if they say nothing.
Support. We need it. We have it. It makes things easier. There can never be enough. We need to stop being so proud and ask for it.
Thank you to all of you who are reading this and offering your support in many different ways. We are doing ok. Today.
Friday, June 1, 2012
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