Support!

In the last month or so I have been thinking a lot about support and help.  For the most part, Gordon and I don't really ask for help.  We are a strong team (most of the time), and we just try to figure things out ourselves.  T1D has thrown somewhat of a wrench into that for us.  We have been struggling to find the balance between everyday life and diabetes.  I mentioned to a good friend to think back to when her kids were little...she has three...and think about them 6, 4, and 2 years old.  Then think about the oldest one, who was the most self sufficient, now needing almost as much care as the baby.  It's crazy.  Both of us working very demanding jobs, the kids going to all their activities, school, and daycare.  It is almost too much some days.

So many people will read this and say, "we've offered to help", or "what can we do to help", and our answer is always the same.
 
We don't know what we need. 
We just need support. 

So what is support?  What does that mean?  Even as I am writing this, I don't know how that should look. 
Support or help...what do we need. 
Both, I guess.

There are days that we are good.  There are days that are just ok.  And there are days that are not good at all.  My head hits the pillow and I am so exhausted from all the emotion and stress that I just can't even think anymore.

I know some people will read this and think, "it's Type One Diabetes, it's not Cancer"  and while that is true, this is my life and the life of my little girl forever.  That has been a very tough pill for me to swallow.  I need to feel that it's ok and I don't.  I still want it to go away.
It is time to reach out for support.  It is time to reach out for help.  We need it.  And the first step is admitting it.  :)
I started writing this post a few days ago and now reading it back up to this point, I think I have to realize that support and help looks different to different people.
I have family and friends who check in on us often.  Either calls, emails, FB messages, or whatever...they check in.
I have other family who want to do more.  They want to be the Type 3's with us.
I have friends who every once in awhile will text or call or something and just say three simple words "Thinking of you" or "I miss you".
I have co-workers who whenever they think of it, ask "how's Charlotte doing?" and then inevitably the next question is "and how are you?"
We have gone to support groups.
We have had other families, who have been dealing with T1D longer than us, reach out to us.
And still there are others, who I know are thinking of us and caring for us even if they say nothing.

Support.  We need it.  We have it.  It makes things easier. There can never be enough.  We need to stop being so proud and ask for it.

Thank you to all of you who are reading this and offering your support in many different ways.  We are doing ok.  Today.
 

Bye 2010!

It's 9:05pm on December 31st...and I am thinking of the past year and all the ups and downs the year brought to us.
So many memories both happy and sad ones. It's hard to even call any specifically to mind right now.
Some think New Years Eve is depressing. Some think it is a renewal. And even others, think of it as the end.

Gordon and I for years, had a blow out bash at our home on New Years Eve. Until Charlotte was born, then New Years became about pjs, snacks, and staying in. I'm not sure which I truly like better. I love being in my pjs. I have them on right now, but a part of me misses the party. The fun, the laughter.

Either way, New Years Eve is a fun holiday for me. I think of it as the time to renew. Start fresh.

This year I am hoping to get a good night's rest and make it through the night, since I have not been feeling well. So now at 9:12pm, I am saying Goodnight, and Goodbye to 2010. Here's to wishing that 2011 will be a great new year!

another year.

a rose.

Healthy and Yummy!

So, I have been really trying to watch my weight, eat healthier, and exercise more. For the most part I have been able to do it all. In my quest for new healthy recipes that will not only appeal to my wonderful hubby, but my two little ones, I came across a meal that is simply wonderful.

I was out at my good friend, Stacey's, house a few weeks ago and she made Lemon Horseradish Fish Cakes. I know, if doesn't necessarily sound good. But it was!!! I just loved them. I think I even told her that night that I couldn't wait to try them out on my family. So yummy! So easy! Two of my favorite things when it comes to a weeknight recipe: yummy and easy. Stacey made them with tilapia, but I made them with flounder. I think any white fish would do.
It was a hit. I just had to share. Try them, you won't be disappointed. Thanks Stacey!

My Friends and Family are the BEST!

I think I always knew that, but now that I have asked for help with a cause I truly believe in, everyone, and I mean everyone, seemed to step to the plate. People came out of the woodwork to donate to my March of Dimes Walk. I was so close to reaching my goal for about a week, and then sent out another email to all of my family and friends to "gently" remind them that I wanted to reach a goal. I can't believe who and how many of you responded! I wish there was a way to list all the wonderful people who opened their hearts and wallets to donate.

From some of my best friends, to co-workers who are also friends, to principals at schools where I work (who I didn't even know knew about this walk of mine), to strangers just reading my other post. It is crazy how generous people can be.

It really warms my heart to know that I have people out there that not only believe in me, but also believe in a cause that has touched my life in so many ways.

How do I say thank you? I have no idea, but I am hoping that this reaches all of you. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!! You all mean so much to me!

Anyone who still wants to donate...the walk is April 26th, so there is still time, just click here.

Here are some small photos of those special little ones that I walk in honor of: Anthony, Christian, Margaret, Elizabeth, Jason, and Meghan!! Love you all!

It's time!

It's time for me to do something that I feel is important. Something I have a strong connection to. It's time for me to make it known that there are many people that we all know and love that struggle with the heartaches that come with premature birth. But it is also time to let the world know that there is a charity and agency that can help. That makes a big difference in the lives of the families and the little ones that are born premature. It's time to let the world know of the success stories of our preemies, that the March of Dimes is devoted to helping!
I have been indirectly effected by premature birth. Both my sisters had preemies, my cousin had a premature little girl, and most recently one of my best friends had a beautiful daughter at 25 weeks.
What can I do to help? I can walk! I can try to get the message of the March of Dimes out there! I can hopefully reach my personal goal through the generosity of my family, friends, and even strangers, who might be reading this post. It is an important cause.
Anthony, Christian, Jason, Meghan, Elizabeth, and Margaret are the reason I am asking for your help.

I have a link in the sidebar and I have a personal website where it is easy to make a donation.
Please search your heart and your pocket for any amount you can give.
Thank you!

36

It seems like today is a good day to let the world know about my Mom.
How special she is.
How strong she is.
How she tries to be the peacemaker.
How she tries to be what everyone needs her to be.
How she thinks of others before herself.

She is one of the people that I can tell most anything to. She has helped me through some tough times. And although there was a time in my life that we weren't really friends, I can happily say that now we are. I am sure there are times that she disagrees with me, or would like to tell me what she REALLY thinks, but I also know she supports me in whatever I do. Now don't get me wrong, she does tell me what she thinks, and she doesn't always hold back. She is a Mom for cryin' out loud, isn't that what Moms do.

I guess, I just want the world to know what a great Mom she is and today is a great day to do that.

The Possibilties of Prayer...

So, I tried another crafty idea recently. Knitting. Yup, knitting. It is a tricky craft, that once you start can be little addicting. My Mom came over a couple of weeks ago to teach me how. Despite her wonderufl teaching, I still had some minor mess ups.
I was attempting to make a Prayer Shawl. For those of you who haven't heard of these, it is a shawl, that while it is being made the knitter is praying through each row. I got one from my AP, Jess, and Mom a few years ago when I was having surgery and going through some tough stuff. It was one of the greatest gifts I ever received. Especially at that time in my life.
One of my best friends is going through some pretty rough times right now. Since I feel helpless, I needed to try to do something. So the Prayer Shawl came into mind.
It started off well, but about ten rows in I ended up with 30 more stitches. I had to call my Mom, for reinforcement. She was able to figure out what I was doing and set me on the right path. I knitted so much in the last few weeks, because I wanted to have it done for a particular date.
Anyway, long story short. It is done. Lots of prayers, maybe some swears, but the end result is prayers for three very special people in my life.

Dimples!

Dimples! I love them. As my brother-in-law and sister-in-law can attest to, I love dimples on guys. Too cute. They actually have a good friend that I told them he has the greatest dimples "that I could eat soup out of them".

Now I was watching American Idol tonight and this guy came on who was very cute. Or "had a lot to offer" ;) ...his dimples were the first thing that caught my eye.
His name was Brent. So, if he makes it past Hollywood or even if you watch at all, look for Brent. Also a name from my past, that my sisters could be gently reminded of. A lifeguard at Hammonassett Beach that I was also quite smitten with at one point in my life.

But, I digress.

Back to dimples.

Not necessarily a small thing that gives me strength, but definitely a small thing that makes me smile.

And smiles always give me strength.

Trancending with Friends...

I found this You Tube Video by Kelly Corrigan and found it so moving, that I had to post about it. I thank God for my friends every day. You know who you are...you've helped me through the tough times and laughed with me through the happy times too. I love you guys!

It's is worth a watch.

Thankful for...

Well, here it is...Thanksgiving. I love this holiday, although it got alittle tainted 8 years ago. When I think about giving thanks, I can't help but think of all the wonderful little things or even big things that I have in my life. I decided to focus on the happy things this year. What makes me tick? What makes me thankful? What are the things that make me who I am? Humm...it got me thinking.

I came up with this list of five things I am thankful for this year:
1. My husband and marriage---Gordon, you are my best friend. I would not be the same without you. You make me smile everyday. We are truly partners in this marriage. We look to each other for guidance and strength. Equal partners, equals in every way. You are the most special gift that I am thankful for. Thank you!
2. My Kids---There was a time in my life when I thought I would never be a Mom. Well, God just had a different plan for us. Now I have the most wonderful little ones. I remember when I was pregnant with Ian, good friends told me that it is amazing how much love you have for kids in your heart. I worried I wouldn't have enough for two...but boy do I!
3. My Family---Mom G, Mom D, Dad D, Char, Sue, Chuck, Keith, Eric, Andrew, Amy, and Sarah!!! Plus all the wonderful nieces and nephews I have, and extended family...aunts, uncles, cousins. I am surrounded by people who love me. Even if I don't see or talk to them everyday, I feel their love!
4. My Friends---I am so lucky to have many great friends in my life. Each one of you teach me something about myself everytime I see you, talk to you, or just think of you. Each of you contribute to who I am...make me stronger each day. Thank you for your love!
5. My Health---I recently had some scary things related to my health, that I will continue to struggle with, but for the most part I am a healthy, happy 35 year old. I need to remember to be thankful for this too.

I'm sure I could go on and on about my gifts in life that I am thankful for, but these are the ones that are foremost in my mind. If I kept listing, I'm afraid you all would stop reading.

So, tell me what five things are you thankful for?

Happy Thanksgiving to you all.

What to do?

A new life, new hope, new prayers....

Here's a link with at least something else you and I can do.

Consider it.

For Luck!

I appliquéd this shamrock onto a quilt project that one of my best friend's sisters is making for her, because she and her husband wanted one.

The shamrock has been an Irish symbol for good luck forever.


The luck of the Irish, I am sending their way tonight.

Rath Dé ort!

Bail ó Dhia ort!

helpless

Tonight I feel helpless. I have three friends, who I love very much, going through some pretty terrible things in their lives.
I want to help and don't know how. I don't even think there is a way. There is nothing I can do to take away the pain. There is nothing I can do to make it better.

All I can do is be there for them if or when they need me.

Life is so unpredictable.

Snow Flower and the Secret Fan

So another attempt to escape from the stress of work I have begun to read again. Based on a recommendation from a very good friend, I read the book called Snow Flower and the Secret Fan, by Lisa See.
I couldn't put it down. It is a novel based in 19th century China. And the premise of the book is two friends or laotong, "old same", who are paired together at a very young age and live their lives together in all senses of what that means. The two girls had to match birth dates, be in the same birth order in both families, have the same size foot, etc. They became emotional matches for life. In addition, the book introduced me to nu shu, which was the secret writing of women in the Chinese culture. Women would literally paint these words to each other in secret. Men of this time did not read nu shu. It was just for women. A way to share their hopes and dreams in a world that did not value women, except to bear a son.
The book follows these two girls through their lives, from footbinding to marriage, and having a son, which is only what made their status in the household more important. It was an extremely interesting read, with quite the story of friendship and how things can become difficult or strained in a close relationship, just because of a misunderstanding.

If you are looking for a good book, I would recommend this one.

Lifetime Friends II

Christian the Lion was on the TODAY show again today. They had an interview with the two men, John Rendall and Ace Bourke. Again, they talked about the interaction between themselves and the lion.
In addition, they talked alittle bit about Christian's legacy, as they put it, the wildlife conservation that they are involved in now.

Click here to learn more.

It was a great interview. Plus learning how moved these two men are about the response they are getting more than 35 years later.

Such a moving story that I am obviously drawn to.

Also to all you nay sayers...I checked it out on snopes. True!

Lifetime Friends...

So, I saw this yesterday on another blog, then it was on the Today show this morning, so I wanted to share it with all of you. In case you haven't seen it...it is worth a watch. Christian the Lion on YouTube.

(of course I cried...)

A Rose

In loving memory of someone who always found inner strength and appreciated the small things.
Miss you Mrs. Fongemy!

True Friends

(photo courtesy of Andrew)

Well, this weekend Gordon and I (and the kids) spent time with some of my truest friends. Friday night, Saturday and Sunday...three (actually five, including their hubbies) true friends. It was definitely what I needed. Thank you guys! I love you all!


Recently there was a comment on one of my posts about what a true friend is. My brother-in-law posted a story, that if you didn't read it went like this:

So there's this guy who falls into a hole. The walls are so steep he can't climb out. A priest walks by and he calls up, "hey father, can you help me out?" The priest writes out a prayer and throws it down to him. Then a doctor walks by and he calls up, "Hey doc, can you help me out?" The doctor writes out a prescription and tosses it down to him. Then a great friend walks by and he calls up to him, "hey buddy, can you help me out?" His buddy jumps down in the hole. He says, " what the heck are you doing?!?!?! Now we are both down here!" The friend says, "yeah but, I've been down here before and I know the way out."

You can always count on your real, true friends. (Thanks, Chuck!)

How do you describe true friends? What does the word friend mean to you?

As many of you know, the relationships that I have in my life are extremely important to me. I know all too well, how quickly they can be gone. A friend to me is someone who I can call at at time during the day or night, any day of the week, or any day of the year and they will be there for me. I feel lucky to have these kinds of people in my life. I can think of a number of friends who I feel like I can call them about anything, and I will not be judged or anything. I think I will call one right now!
These friends are a "not so" small thing that definitely gives me inner strength.

Theme?

Wow, I have some pretty amazing friends and family out there. The support has been unbelievable, both in comments on the blog itself and separate emails and phone calls. I am truly blessed to have each of you in my life. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for supporting me, and giving me a chance.

Since yesterday I have been thinking alot about this blog and what it means to me and to anyone who might be interested in what I have to say. To say that I have come up short is an understatement. I know that I want it to be a place to self-reflect, but also don't want to get so deep that I bore you all to death too. So, what's a girl to do.
Well, I just got back from running some errands, and in the car I was faithfully listening to my iPod, which has a number of playlists on it. One song in particular came on, that always strikes a cord in me. The song is "You Gotta Be", by Des'ree. Now I know some of you are laughing to yourselves, thinking "where the heck did that song come from". Well, it has been like a mantra of mine for many years. (see something not alot of you knew about me).

Check it out: Des'ree "You Gotta Be" video on YouTube

This song was released in 1994 and peaked at number 5 on the Billboard music charts. It also stayed on the charts for something like 80 weeks. Somehow it has become like a theme song for me. I know there was a show or something that talked about choosing your own theme song (Linda, if you are reading...help me out here). If I had to choose one, this is it. These are just some of the lyrics as to how the song begins:

Listen as your day unfolds
Challenge what the future holds
Try and keep your head up to the sky
Lovers, they may cause you tears
Go ahead release your fears
Stand up and be counted
Don't be ashamed to cry

Things I need to try to remember...