Friday, December 31, 2010

Bye 2010!

It's 9:05pm on December 31st...and I am thinking of the past year and all the ups and downs the year brought to us.
So many memories both happy and sad ones. It's hard to even call any specifically to mind right now.
Some think New Years Eve is depressing. Some think it is a renewal. And even others, think of it as the end.

Gordon and I for years, had a blow out bash at our home on New Years Eve. Until Charlotte was born, then New Years became about pjs, snacks, and staying in. I'm not sure which I truly like better. I love being in my pjs. I have them on right now, but a part of me misses the party. The fun, the laughter.

Either way, New Years Eve is a fun holiday for me. I think of it as the time to renew. Start fresh.

This year I am hoping to get a good night's rest and make it through the night, since I have not been feeling well. So now at 9:12pm, I am saying Goodnight, and Goodbye to 2010. Here's to wishing that 2011 will be a great new year!

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Merry Christmas, Darling

Well, it's that time of year again. I am feeling alittle under the weather today, so I came home from work early, and am trying to deny getting sick two days before Christmas. On my way home, the radio was on. And on 100.5, which is playing all Christmas music and has been since Thanksgiving.
Well, I was about a block or so away from home, when the air wave went quiet! "dead air" The song had finished and then "dead air" for what seemed like a long time, but was probably 10 seconds or so...then it happened. Merry Christmas, Darling by The Carpenters came on the radio.
I know I haven't told everyone about this song, but it is a powerful one for me. And here's why...

Last year, a few weeks before Genevieve was born, my best friend, Linda, called me. She said she didn't want to upset me, while I was so pregnant, but she had to call. She proceeded to tell me that she had a dream about my Dad the night before. She said that she was driving in the car with him and he kept saying he had to get to the carpenters in New Britain. I know that sounds like it doesn't make sense, but it may if you keep reading and have some faith.
She continued by saying that she meant to call me earlier, but didn't until she heard this song Merry Christmas, Darling about four times since she woke up.
Linda is great with dreams. She remembers them so well and helps me believe that this is how people who have passed on, come back to visit.
She felt that my Dad wanted her to send me this song. How did we come up with that you ask...well here's how.
In the dream, he wanted to get to the carpenters in New Britain. I was going to give birth to my third child in New Britain. The song is sung by The Carpenters. And the lead vocalist is KAREN Carpenter.
I truly believe, and I know Linda does too, that this was my Dad's way of letting me know he wished he was here for Genevieve's birth, but in his own way he was. Or was at least thinking of me/us.

Now everytime, I hear the song I think of him. I feel him with me. I say "I love you, Dad". And feel some peace. Even on the way home today. I felt as though he was saying "hello".

This year, it is ten years since my Dad died. Some days it feels longer and some days it seems like only yesterday. It's hard. This year seems harder. But I will be ok.

I recently had another friend talk, I mean really talk, to me about my Dad. It was sad, but somehow I felt a level of comfort in talking about him and telling people about how wonderful he is, and how much he is missed. It's therapeutic I think.

So, Merry Christmas everyone. Enjoy those around you. Take comfort in those that are with you, life is too short.

When I asked Linda why my Dad was in her dreams and not mine...her response..."You have two, almost three kids, you need your rest...he can come to me and I can tell you." Love you Linda!
I believe it was you, Dad. Even today on my way home! Miss you. Merry Christmas!

Are you a believer too???