Balance

I need to find balance. But how?
I have three children and a wonderful husband. A new home. A demanding job. Fabulous friends. Loving family. I hobby that I miss. Etc. Etc. Etc.

Where and how can I balance all of this so that I feel fulfilled?

I have an exciting opportunity to work in a clinic this summer, that appears to be VERY similar to the one I would love to own one day. I think it would be so much fun and I would learn a ton.
On the other hand, my children are only going to be 4, 2, and new for this summer and I don't want to miss out on anything.
Plus we have a new house, that I have been having a great time trying to make into our home. It's fun. And during the school year, I don't have time to make things like I want to.
There are friends in my life that I feel like I never see. I miss just hanging out with them, whether it is with their kids or not. I miss them.
My family and Gordon's family used to get together for family dinners every once in a while, and now for some reason we don't.
My kids want to do so much, join things, play here, visit there, and I am having trouble making it all happen for them.

UGH!

so much, and so little time! I need to prioritize, I guess and make some decisions. I know I can't do it all, but I find myself asking why...

Balance, where are you? Or do I just need to learn how to juggle?

Tears and Fears

Why do we cry? Sadness. Stress. Emotion. Happiness. There are so many reasons. I sit here, bawling. I just vacuumed the whole house, and each room I was thinking of all the memories we have here.

As many of you know, we are selling this house at the end of May. I am filled with so much emotion about this big move that it has been hard to see clearly.

We bought this house ten days before our wedding. We have been through so much here. We did amazing things to this house to update it and make it seem more like ours. We put on a roof, new windows, redid the family room, put on a deck, and then made the nursery for our babies, and a big kid room as we added to our family.
Plus we went through our infertility trials here. Shots, medications, disappointments, and finally the greatest words "you're pregnant".
We came home here after my Dad's funeral. We came here after each baby was born. We had countless family gatherings here.
We, before kids, had New Year's Eve parties here. Man, they we fun!

So many memories!!!

Now, as Gordon says, it is time to start our new chapter. Move to our new home, start memories there. So much to look forward to in our new house. This house, on Bunce Rd, was a great home...
Now it is time to move to our new home, on Surrey Place, and open the book of our lives in a new chapter.

*Deep Breath*

It's Time!

Yep, it's time.
It's the holiday time.
It's time for Baby #3 to make his/her appearance.

Tomorrow I will go into the hospital at 7am, and be induced into labor to welcome our third miracle into our family. I feel ready in some respects and so not ready in others.
How will we handle being out numbered? How will Charlotte and Ian continue to feel special? How will we divide our time? How will I handle having three little ones and working and managing our home? How will Gordon and I be able to find time for ourselves?

These are all questions that I have, but deep in my heart I know that it will all be fine. Gordon and I have a very strong marriage, I've said that before. We can handle anything together. He is my rock, and I think I am his as well.
Charlotte and Ian are the best of friends right now, so I know they will handle the new baby in stride.

All these questions are my own fears. The fears of again becoming a new Mom, to a new little person. I think it helps to just get them out.

I know I can do it! I know I have the strength within myself and the strength of my amazing family and friends to help.

It is just the anticipation and the maybe unfounded fears.

Welcome little one! We are ready for you! It's time!

Sometimes You Feel Like a Nut...

Ok, so I am sure you've all heard by now about our scary night in New Hampshire over Labor Day Weekend. (and no it wasn't just because with were with Mike, although he is alittle scary. hehe!)
Charlotte had an allergic reaction to what, we had no idea at the time. Swollen lip, turned into coughing, wheezing, difficulty breathing, and hives everywhere. By the time we got her to the emergency room, she was having such a hard time breathing, it was so scary. But, my little girl was so brave. So strong. She did great. And the doctors and nurses at the Parkland Medical Center were the best. They really help to keep Charlotte calm, and me calm. I think keeping me calm is sometimes hard.
Anyway, long story short, we now know she is severely allergic to tree nuts. Yep, tree nuts. Not peanuts, but pretty much everything else. Now epipens, reading labels, and teaching a four year old to ask about nuts before eating anything is our life. I feel like a tree nut Nut!

Then at work, I am trying to do the job of two right now. We are short handed and I am attempting to pick up the pieces, see twice as many kids, and get back to every teacher that asks me. It is crazy. I am exhausted! I am hoping people at work understand, but I know that deep down, people don't care that I am short handed. Everyone has a job to do and everyone keeps track of their own. So, I am doing what I can and praying each day for the strength to get through. Even at work I am feeling nutty!!!!

Now finally, the H1N1 vaccine! Ugh! What to do? Pregnant women are at the top of the list to get this vaccine. Now it is scary. It has been rushed to market because of the flu scare. My OB/GYN tells me that if I get the swine flu, I could have some serious complications. But getting the vaccine, my baby and I definitely will get the vaccine, with all the added ingredients, that we don't know what the side effects on me or my baby will be. I am losing sleep over this debate. I feel like a nut!

It's been forever since I've posted. It's been forever since I've seen my best friends, and been able to talk to them. It's been forever since I've gotten a good night sleep. It's been forever since I have felt good about my job each day. Something has got to give. I need to crack these nuts. Now you all know why it has taken me forever to post...

Does anyone have a nut cracker?

The Push.

"You never know when one act, or one word
of encouragement can change a life forever."
~ Zig Ziglar
I have been so weepy lately. Maybe it's pregnancy hormones, maybe it's lack of sleep, maybe it's the fact that work starts next week and I am completely stressed already. Or maybe it is because my little girl is going to preschool this Fall. She actually starts next Tuesday. She'll go half days for four days a week. We bought her backpack (Princess of course), we got her a lunch box to bring her snack in each day (again Princess of course), and some other supplies for school.
SCHOOL! I really can't believe how fast time goes. I remember the day I found out I was pregnant with her. Just like it was yesterday. Then the day she was born, was such an amazing day. She truly was a miracle to us. All our children are, but there was something about Charlotte.
These days I find myself watching t.v. and back to school commercials come on and I start crying. Man, I am a sap. How do you give her the push she needs to go, when all you want to do is hold on?
My little girl, is not so little anymore. She wants to go to school. And I know she is ready, but I think I might need some kind of support group or something.

I recently got this link in an email and it got me thinking about school, my kids growing up, and how it can be hard to see, but wonderful at the same time. If you have a few minutes click the link and see what I mean. It is worth it. Or atleast I think so.
Click here to see the link.

So September 1st, think of my little Big girl heading to preschool...and send some support my way, I think I might need it.

John Hughes

John Hughes was born February 18, 1950. Died August 6th, 2009.
He is one of the most influential writers of teen angst from the 1980s and 90s. He wrote and directed some of my all time favorite movies of the 80s.
Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Some Kind of Wonderful,
Uncle Buck,


and Pretty In Pink; I'm sure there are more that I just can't remember at this moment. These movies I could watch over and over again and to this day they still can make me laugh right out loud. Plus they were movies that were about things teens are going through. Who wouldn't want the popular guy in school to like you, who doesn't want to just fit in, who doesn't want to take a whole day off and just have fun? All these movies did that.

He was only 59 years old, and had a heart attack. Life is so fragile.

Thank you John for all these movies that I grew up with and can quote even today.

Like "Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?" or "I'm thinking of trying out for a scholarship" or "Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. But we think you're crazy to make an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us... In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain... ...and an athlete...
...and a basket case...
...a princess...
...and a criminal...
Does that answer your question?... Sincerely yours, the Breakfast Club". From the Breakfast Club

Or "Lake, Big Lake!", "You know, I'm getting input here that I'm reading as relatively hostile", "Oto-mo-biiile?" All from Sixteen Candles.

There are so many...no need to go on. But if you haven't seen these movies. Rent them!

They are worth it!

I also recently found this post from John Hughes' pen pal. Not only did we lose a gret writer/director, but a great man.

Staying Cool

How does a pregnant Mom of two stay cool on a humid 90 degree summer day?

Head to the beach? Doubtful.

Stay in the AC and turn on the t.v.? Maybe.

Fill up the kiddie pool and have fun with her kids? Definitely!
We sure did have fun! They wanted to splash Mommy and pour water on my "toe-ies". Who am I to stop them?