Wednesday, December 31, 2008

How Do You Know?

How do you know if you are a good friend, wife, mother, daughter, sister, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, etc? How do you know? By the people around you? By the way people treat you? By the comments that people make? By the way people talk when they are with you? By the fact that people even want to be with you?

How do you know?

Now I don't want this post to turn into people saying "oh, Karen you are a good...". I am just posting this because I feel like I don't know. I feel like I am looking for reassurance, but it seldom comes. OR I only hang my hat on the negative comments and then try to figure out how I can make it better or change it. Focusing on the negative, not the positive. Why?
Then when someone whose comments should mean the most, tells you that you are a good..., why don't we believe it?

I guess I don't really expect an answer. I just wanted to ask the question...how do we know?

7 comments:

Amy and Andrew said...

Good questions. Maybe we never REALLY know, but chances are, there are signs that point in a general direction. Sometimes we succeed; sometimes we fail. But the people who love us most allow us to fail, knowing who we truly are (at least that's what I'm counting on!). What are the reasons you feel you need to know? I think we all need reassurance at certain points in our lives, but I think it's always good to step back and think about the reasons why we are needing that extra encouragement. Does that make sense?

Karen said...

Not sure why I feel like I need to know. That's a great question. I guess I want to be the best I can be and want others to see the best in me. But, I guess if we feel like we are doing the best we can, then that's all that should matter...right? Single comments shouldn't hold that much weight...

ryreagmom said...

I am often asking myself these same questions..and sometimes I don't know if the answers I get are right. We all need reassurance at times and hopefully those who are closest to us give it to us! You are a good friend (and I am not just saying that). I am hoping to "better" myself in many ways this year. I know parts of it will be challenging...want to join me on this journey to believe in me, friend?

MKG said...

Amy and Andrew have a good idea about stepping back and doing some real self-evaluation. I think that the best evaluation if it's honest. Jen sounds like she's starting/continuing a good journey; I'd like to join too!

Anonymous said...

Everyone else is hinting around it. The real trick to being a "good-whatever" is not to care what someone thinks. That will always cloud your approach. Do the best you can, do what you know in your heart is the right thing. And be honest and true to yourself and whatever it is you are trying to do. Thats all you have to do. The rest will fall into place. And if it doesn't, thats not your fault. It seems overly simple, but the best things in life really are just that simple.

Chuck D (In the house) said...

Sorry, that Anonymous post was me. I don't like it when people post anonymously, it was early, I hadn't had my coffee yet.

Anonymous said...

look at your children and what you teach them, what behaviors you model for them, what values you are imparting on them......look at the people that surround you, support you, and love you and I think you'll find your answers then you just need to believe in it